happy year

i normally don't do this but here goes.
i am thankful for this year.
i am thankful for this christmas season specially.
all because i am happy.
i feel happy.
im happy because this year gave me a lot of reasons to smile.
i smiled because i get to have time.
a time well spent, well cherished and forever remembered.
who would've guessed?
90 mil people in the philippines.
"you can thank your stars all you want
but il always be the lucky one"
though situations were not simple.
it may not be all the usual and every girl's fairytale but to me it was enough.
to feel great evryday.
honestly, im kinda wishing for time to stop and asked for overtime.
every limited chance and every fleeting moment (if i may call it) we had.
to whoever is it that might be up there and finally decided i get to smile again.
thank you!!!
yes it's a fact that natural forces is against me, reality and even astrology.
i say: and so.
between our "human warmth" and all our memorable conversations, from night til mornin breaks.
i found a happy place.
i can lock my arms, my thoughts and stay there longer.
i know il sleep well and wake up just the same.
with my heart overwhelming with an unexplainable feeling of joy.
maybe this is what we call completeness.
im sure and i can say.
so, far...
no other happiness come closer.


can't hardly wait for next year. . .
let's go! let's go! ;D



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asus!

Mmmmwuah! and isang power hug. ;D
(sabi kc, Hug lng?)

(ang korny ko lng. Pasko naman. Haha.)


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D-day

6 hours ago, D-day natin.

Hinde nga lang ako nagsabi ng diretso.

Pero sana naramdaman mo naman nung inakap kita. (sabi mo kasi, malamig. haha)

Habang nag-uusap tayo hanggang umaga

sa isang gasoline station

sa loob ng kotse

sa tapat ng 7-11.

Habang kumakanta ka ng Beatles

at ngkkwento tungkol sa kanila.

Habang masaya akong nakikinig at

nagcocomment sa mga pangarap mo

at mga nakalagay sa notebook.

Excited ako, at sana magawa ko kahit isa dun kasama ka.

Miss na miss kita. Grabe!!!

Baka matagal pa bago maulit or hinde na.

Buti na lang nagawa natin to.

Thanks sir. :D

Sana masaya ka kanina.

human warmth

malamig daw. ;D
(nag-magandang loob lng nman ako)



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pacute

kung ittxt kita, ano bang ssabihin ko?
kung itxt mo na lng kaya ako?
dati, tumatawag ka naman.
sna minsan gawin mo ulit un.

kamusta ka naman?
madami bang trabaho?
anong ginagawa mo ngaun?
uy, nadownload ko na!!!

tumatangkad ka ba?
lagi ka kc sa isip ko.
or
lumililiit ka?
kc dati asa isip lng kita, ngaun asa puso na.
(wahahaha)

oo na.
oo na.
namimiss nga kita.
sobra.


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tulog

gusto ko na sana matulog
pro ito ako ngsusulat
nakahiga sa sofa at ngiisip
kakainom ko lng ng 2 tablet ng gamot
masakit kc ang ulo ko (migraine)
bukod dun
wala akong ibang maramdaman ngaun kundi pagod
pagod na ko
grabe rin ang araw ko ngaun
at cguro ung buong linggo
haaay ayoko na!!!!!!!!!!!!
sana sa dinami-daming beses ko na nasabi yan
gumaan naman ung pkramdam ko
o sna pwede maging bato
pro masaya kc sumigaw
kahit minsan
di importante kung may nakikinig
or nanunuod
ok na ko na marinig ung sarili ko
kausap ung hangin
mgpunas ng luha kc naiiyak ako
minsan ganun tlga e
minsan prang tanga lng
gumising ka, pumasok, umuwi
na prang normal lng
tpos ngaun matutulog na
...sana
sbay bibigay din pla.


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"obsessing"

here i am "obssesing" with an idea
a selfish idea for me
i look at myself and ask why
can't stop that grin on my face
i know the words
but i can't seem to push myself to say it
i feel this because it's wrong
i know it is
but who am i to judge myself?
who am i to stop myself?
if i do, i don't know what would that really mean
to me, it's hurt. it's loneliness. it's sad.
words, just words that as it is starts the real meaning in your head.
what more if i feel it?
do i want that?
do i deserve that?
i dreamed to be happy
and maybe this is a long painful shot to make it come true
or in the end, it really won't
who knows?
the heart wants what the heart wants
(until it hearts another)



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here it comes

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

-- Keane, Everybody's Changing

(repeat til i drop)
buntung hininga
kaya ko to!
..
...
kaya ko to!!!

man in my home screen

let me tell you about the man in my home screen
he just sits there
stays there
being himself
wearing that green shirt
playing with the drums
maybe i can't paint you the picture enough
but it brings me so much joy
he's not smiling here
but i am
like this, ;D

slide to unlock and there he is.
hey you! man in my home screen.


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sana

sana magkasing kulay

ang drama at tunay na buhay ko

ang tanging pag-asa ko

ay nasa tambalang ito

i like this movie

watching 500 days of summer again
i love how they grow on each other
i enjoy the sweet disposition they got theirselves in
most especially the conversations
definitely the conversations
the fun and games
even Tom's six words of: "i guess im not just anybody"
and the fight which is classic
from "i love us" to "fuck you whore"

i like this movie
maybe bcoz im like summer
in many ways
and im like tom too
in other ways
like summer i would like to have fun, not that mushy and serious, wake up one day knowing and doing what i want.
like tom i believe in love and the cycle, being happy, sometimes miserable, will be ok eventually and be bitter at times.

to me it's just not a story of boy meets girl. it's a story of what always happen.. "life"

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apples

i like apples, dont' you?
there's this particular apple
an apple filled with colors
that i like and love
an apple that makes me smile
makes me happy
the apple i often wish to see
and then like eve
and that story of that forbidden tree
i can't have it
it's a sin if i must know
if i decide to go
so here i am
staring at that apple from wherever i stand
glimpsing at it every now and then
imagining what great happiness that might never come
oh apple, oh forbidden tree
im still hoping for that day
that the apple will be free
that colorful apple from the forbidden tree
yet im no eve
i cannot break the rules, not this time, i mean
i cannot break that tree
i can only wait for the tree or the apple to fall of
i don't know when and how long
and until then, i do feel
that apples, i still seek


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i never told you

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you



*til we meet again on D-day.

Alejandro

and so his name is.....

from john mayer

Oh, half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart's got a right mind
To tell you that I can't keep lovin' you, can't keep lovin' you
Oh, with half of my heart


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something fishy

a great yesterday.

a great mornin.

gud mornin!

(i missed that) :D

Sonnet XLIII

All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee to me.
~William Shakespeare

hanep! shume-shakespeare. haha!

we walk

today was a day made for walking. tiring. hot weather. lots of people. long roads. aching toes. wasted fare. wrong jeep. but in the end, and until now. still smiling. hehe.

we walk.

"People create their own questions because they are afraid to look straight. All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk." (Ayn Rand)

nice day

just that. :P


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im tired

i really wish this would be over. i wish i could just move on. ive had it with weighing things
over and over. im fed up about this waiting. im sick of these news. im working hard to make all the right moves and maybe, just maybe, i will. im trying to keep and maintain my gameface and im kinda loosing it too.

i dnt know what to do anymore. my head is getting filled with a lot of thinking things everyday and i want to stop it. im worried and im pretty sure to be confused. im floating empty. i want badly to win this war but i ain't sure if im the right soldier.

im really tired.


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i miss everyday

is it time? should i wake up from this sleep and get up? what if im not ready to get up? what if i dnt want to get up? what if im not sure how to pull myself and walk out that hall and start my day?

this is really hard for me, anyone must understand im not prepared for this. im not ready. im not the type of person who just move on from this. im not. i should be mature about this but then again im not. i know what's the right thing to do but i don't wanna do that. not just yet. im hanging. not moving. keeping busy with other things. i know, im being dramatic to even put myself in this situation. my problem is sadness, it kills me. i can't get away from it. i can't barely start to think about the worse things. i miss the times. i miss lunch. i miss dinner. i miss coffee. i miss the laugh. i miss the smile. i miss the fun. i miss everyday. it's only been two days and look at me. im weird.

im not good at goodbye's. if i can skipped it and fast forward myself in another reality, i will. somebody, handle this for me if it has to happen, when it happens. coz i can't. il cry and i can feel it.

so please, please, please.... let it not happen.

the late post

here i am. listening to Franco on my background with the boys playing Counterstrike and DOTA as always. with that, I felt like writing. I haven't made any update til Ondoy happened. anyway, i just had the urged to make a post. I do hope i would make a sense out of it. it's 10:45pm now.

what do i want to talk about now.. hmmm.. this is really a tough job.

last nyt, i thought i would create a post about "parents" and their wave of growing old. but then the moment has passed, i should have scribbled something last night. even a draft will do. the main point was... i think im being more mature than them nowadays and i dunno if that's just me or them. sometimes i dunno what's really harder to be them or to be me. sometimes i feel that as spontaneous we all can be sometimes and hard-headed, so they are, twice worse and will be in the coming years and age. im at that point that im easily irritated about them hovering around and breathing at the back of your neck like you're 5. i know, it's a little bit harsh. i know that it's just concern. believe me, i know the drill. im not being a problem child here, i just think that im looking into this in a different perspective and they just don't get it. not even a little. anyway, im not making a close point here so maybe some other time. :)

yesterday, i just started watching Glee. yes, laugh all you want. i like the show. i like musicals. what i really like about it are the songs and the dances. yes. i imagine myself being a part of something close to that. (and what's the problem in that?) i really wish to enter a workshop soon. nweiz, one good point i've heard... one lesson, one teacher from the series told her student. we can't complicate our life too much for something. we can't do that. we shouldn't do that. life is hard as it is. life is complicated as it is. but what do i always say?! "coz life is never complicated enough!" =) yes. kinda hard-headed, ain't i? but you know. where's the fun in not trying to complicate your life sometimes? of coarse, there are limits and boundaries. we do need to stop at one point or another but dnt fret, that will happen on its own. the heart wants what the heart wants. and like nike says it, just do it! :P


------
this was a post that was suppose to be posted last 2/26/10, 10:45PM. haha! i've got nothing better to do now (i logged on the net for the last 5 mins and i dunno what i really wanna do), then i found myself looking for my blog. and here it is.. posting some of my drafts. maybe later, il have the initiative to post some of my overdue pictures. gosh! sometimes, being at home is hard. haha!