A letter to Sir

Dear sir,


i learned about the girl in the movie.

today, i get to understand her.

there's this great percentage that i'll cry hearing or watching a nice love story.

or what usually happen is, i walk away when it's cheezy time.

yes, im that coward sometimes. im not as brave.

besides, i think we can always predict the happy ending.

no need to validate that.

maybe by default, i assume that i force to relate it to myself

but i realize, no. that's not what im doing.

it's the difference.
and i think i know now how we differ.

well, for one thing. my story is much real than hers.
i don't have a perfect hair specially when i just went to bed.
i have a guy's name as a nickname.

and they say i think like a guy sometimes.

and that i have too many men friends.

then i have a non-desirable last name which you said was also very guy-ish.

im not friends friends with the family vs her

and i feel that they wouldn't prefer me.

i don't change status or my picture.

i don't do terms of endearment i prefer to use made-up names.

im not gonna pressure you to marry bcoz i don't even think about it right away, i take time.

i make plans as far as breakfast in the mornin.

or a roadtrip next weekend.

il be ok if we can only fulfill my monthly movie request.

and we go from there.

i don't plan forever, i just try live it. and wish.

i really don't ask much and i don't expect much.

you can skip the sweeping off my feet parts. it's ok. you're fine.
i may not share everything to you or capture us all the times with pictures
but i always write about it.
my story would carry more drama than the movie could pull off.
i could be much corny than ever.
and look weirder too.

i don't have that courage to say my feelings first even i can say that i can.
i can't say it like that even if i could do the crying parts.
and even with the right character and motivation and what i think my great acting skills can deliver.
because, the girl in the movie isn't really me.

and i don't have the right to do that. to go first. to say it and hear myself say it.

we may have the same feelings or same passion.

maybe same lines and same perspective.

but we love two different guys.

she doesn't love a guy who's with someone else. ever.

maybe her bestfriend or her sister but not her.

why don't they make that?!
maybe because that's too painful to take.
and my story is all about that.
which makes all the difference in the movie world.
im like sally in harry met sally.
who is pretending to be sally.
who is pretending your harry.
i really love her last lines.

"you see. that is just like you harry. you say things like that. and you make it impossible for me to hate you. and i hate you harry. i really hate you."

..i hate you because i need to be friends with you which is the hardest thing and i'm here writing about it.

Yours truly,
Reg


P.S.
I know you don't like drama so sorry if this is. :)


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absolut happiness

Part 1

Reg: ngayon ko lng sinalubong ang birthday ko ng wala sa bahay.

(bukod nung onshore ako)

Kaibigan 1: Masaya ka nman?

Reg: Masaya.

Kaibigan 1: (sabay gulo ng buhok ko)

Para sa "ka-ma-ra-de-ry".

Spell.

"Friendship" na lang.

Shots at Wishes.

Kwentuhan. Madaming kwentuhan.

McDo at kwentuhan pa.

Kotse.

at Eurotel.

Part 2

9AM Drive.

Bahay.

Powernap.

Luto.

Bumili ng Nestle Cream at ice cream.

Kumain.

Kumain.

Kumain.

Nag-internet.

Natulog.

Kumain.

Nagpasalamat habang kumakain.

Nanuod.

Natulog.

Thank You.

Fin.

man in my lock screen

the same man before
in my home screen
yep, he's back
and he is in a coffee shop
discussing things
from a notebook
hey, man in my lock screen.


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ms. curiosity

because im that curious

i needed to ask

i wanted to understand

after answers from an expert

i have to admit that i may

still not #getaclue of what was explained

maybe #neverinamillionyears

and all would be left is

#amomentofsilence

for some questions in this universe

that i have to stop trying to answer

so to the guys out there

#passthemsomewater

cheers!

for the curious case that you all are.

(tried to come-up with an entry on today's trending topics. haha.)

central terminal

So, how's my day? I've been trying to answer the question the time i went in the train. And this may sound too cheezy but the scene replaying over my head is the time i saw his train coming in and look the other way to find him and we smiled. The guard caught me doing it and he smiled too. (haha)

I already told you this Regina. You should avoid doing this. Sometimes, it will be easier if you tell yourself: "It's all professional." then repeat it over and over until that's the only thing running in your head when you see him. Besides, you call him "sir".

I know.

Believe me, I'm trying. I really do.

in my head

"i think i might have made you inside my head"

im not sure. but i will soon find out. i don't know if im prepared for that. but i still have to, at some point. i always write about you, sir. if you read, others won't get it. but you will. i hope you will. i write about our happy times, and of coarse vice-versa.

i don't know why i keep on doing this. maybe it's just what i do. unlike what the rest of the Universe expect for me to express, for certain topics i just can't. they are all locked inside my heart, where Universe is right. im all heart. one of my features that i still can't choose to be a good thing or not.

anyway, since i have that deficiency of courage to say things. tada! another entry. i know you're not just in my head. i know that i didn't just made you up. you're not some imaginary friend i never had from childhood. i know you're real, sir.

whenever we talk, im happy. whenever we see each other, im happy. near or far. often or not. everyday or every other 2-3 months. physically together or from a picture. messages, there are so many of them alongside moments. i remember them and i know it means something to me. a lot has already been told, some i've seen with my very eyes about the long shot im aiming with you. all the warning signs were there on my way here but can't escape the feeling of happiness that doesn't change and i don't get it.

im not saying i don't want this. i always feel this is right. this is worth it. there are times i get scared by i just say that. i don't stop. i tried for several months now to take it all back because i don't want to complicate your story in the end but obviously i wasn't successful --- i wasn't sure if i should keep on walking this side of the road but i still found myself waking after you. i guess, not until i reach the finish line. how? maybe im walking too slow or take on a different road. i don't know how or if that's even possible anytime soon. i never thought it would take me this long to do this. too long, i was able to push myself to be excited with the morning after or your dreams and your goals. life taught me to avoid making plans before but i see myself eating my own words. i have wishes for us. it's weird, like every other thing im doing lately. (for example, this one you're reading)

this may appear like im complaining, im not. or unhappy, im not. this is an interpreter of my unsung emotions, getting freed for the first time. so, forgive me for my choice of words. i don't know what im doing. i don't know what's next? i don't know if this is a good idea. i don't know if you will be able to read this. i don't know if you'll understand. i don't know if i turn out to be a girl out of hand for you or a stranger in the next few seconds. im not gonna ask you to choose. im not gonna ask you to tell me anything. actually, i don't intend these questions to be answered, that's not the point. im saying this because i feel that i need to do this before we start something new. before we start fulfilling our dream this saturday. i just wanted to be honest from this day. yes, this is about you, sir.

im saying i feel that i love you and i know that's what i decided, a long time ago.

fire starter

im a fire starter
i make fire
let it burn
and enjoy the warm
with all my cards on the table
i play as hard
i know im not gonna win this
but i will know that i tried
and i was the happy girl
sometimes in reality
we can't say what happen
when and how
especially why
and i may choose to keep them forever
so im counting down the days

a week from now in old city
will be memorable
because
i got one card left

im fallin in.
(in case, i don't tell you)


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yes, i fear.

i should know
and anyone should know
that i learn that
the world can take it.
the-world-can-take-it.
yes, the world can take it!
the world can take it!!!! (screaming)
it's ok. he won't mind.
if im scared.
if im emotional.
i often take care of myself.
but at times i had to share.
i fear putting up my defense because that takes a lot of effort on my part.
then i cry after.
i fear just going with it.
i fear expectations and plans.
i fear being able to love someone that loves someone else.
i fear letting go of the happy times.
there goes my fears
and it doesn't mean
im not aLready there.
i dO not fear beginnings.
there are just some things that i don't haVe to start alone.
like this onE.


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FML.

sometimes, we should always be careful on the things we wish to be answered.

because once we have it.

we may not be prepared to handle it, worse case.

but since we asked for it.

we try toleration.

sometimes, temporary denial.

im looking a couple of days seclusion.

maybe drinking. i don't know yet.

whatever works.

and what's funny about it...

is you did it all because you are happy.

it was that thing called Love again.

yah, it sucks that way.

i plead guilty.

i asked the Universe that maybe we could go on that popular island you haven't been. i knew you wanted to go. someone told me that you already did.

i have to try my very best not to cry when i see you. but that's not a promise.

Maybe i could pretend you're right. Love is a laserquest. Suck it and see.

http://instagr.am/p/FbxdZ/

30 Secrets.

half-time

im a little over late. it's 13 minutes past midnight, for the 1st day of july.
i woke up and i knew what i wanted to do first. tried to avoid it but failed.
i gave someone a blank msg. because i didn't know what to say. i told him it's invisible.
then later. . .
i spend the first day of this second half of the year in a coffee shop.
i love working with people around.
meet there with long time no see friends and tried to tag along for a free movie i already seen.
i sticked to the coffee shop instead.
i had to watch a number of rich people wait for their vallet parking for 3 hours and still i didn't understand why do that?
i saw an actress at the neighbor coffee shop (i assume), she's too white.
when it got late, i drove and decided to go home.
had a little computer tutorial with Mimi.
now, im here.
it's that easy to look back for the past 24 hours.
absolutely hard for the last six months.
that's why im not doing it.
i need a bulk order of stop and go signs.
should be really big so i don't miss it.
plus a drink and a cheer for the next 6 months more.

hingang malalim ulit.
let's go!
kaya ko to!

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