i hate the fact that most of the questions you ask is about work or some project. some serious or geek topic you just thought of or maybe you wrote on your notebook and you can't seem to stop to think about. i don't know why you keep asking me those questions like i'm some kind of an assistant or a person who just enjoys only those topics and would give you the right answer.
but then it also shows how you want it, how you work hard and push your idea. that's why i still keep on listening and answering your questions as much as i can. plus, you always come up with good ideas and i wanna cheer you anyway.
i hate the fact that out of the blue, you tell me things about you or what you did or ask my opinion on what you would do on a certain matter. like what i have to say counts and as if i'm part of those plans.
but even if doesn't. even if i'm the last person you told or ask, i've always appreciate that you did. because i never ask or expected you would. it gave me the chance to get to know you more and somehow, made me make plans with you.
i hate the fact that you rarely text and if you do, it's more than an hour later if it's a reply. you used to send me messages more often. i know you're busy. yet there's a few times that you just keep on replying with nonsense and smileys.
but you managed to make a message and honestly, that mattered.
i hate the fact that you always feel the need to call. do you know that we've talked in every possible landline i have? one time, you called me and woke me up.
but maybe you just really wanted to talk. anyway, i like hearing your voice.
i hate the fact that i like talking to you. that to me, we always have a good unique conversation or over the text, phone, email or messenger. i hate that i don't need to think about what i would say to you and we could spend hours talking about anything that comes in mind and how easy we can make up some stories on the fly.
but when we're not talking, i know i try to make every conversation i have with others to be more like ours.
i hate having you around before. it's a short time to compare to anyone. i get used to seeing you everyday. when we don't talk, i still get to see you on my way out. we get to have lunch or dinner. we get to walk together. bump into each other at the elevator. go on night outs. picture with friends. kulitan during short rides in the car. meetings. you were always there. sometimes, even if, not physically. on crisis. problems. on unexpected moments. you suddenly appear. i know you stalk me sometimes, i saw you. you really are weird. i think i get you. moments i didn't ask but thankful. moments that i hate coz they all stick. i hate having you around before.
but, i wouldn't really mind to have you around again.
lastly, i hate the fact that i've always known that i'm happy when you're around. and that i miss you. what could you have possibly done right.
i'm not being honest if i say otherwise.
so, in general.. i hate the fact that it's obviously hard for me to hate you. therefore, i won't.
but maybe i should love you a little less then maybe we can really be.. friends again.
is that the greatest gift or what?! happy birthday Sir! ;)
advance merry christmas, happy new year!
19-september-2013
