eat pray love

Dear friend,

Have you watched this movie? Maybe not, right? ;) I like the title so i reuse it and it fits. 
I'm enjoying being away. Of coarse, it's not great but it's enough for what i need now. I need alone time to remember what life is like minus all the stuff that added up for the last 3 years. It's a nice journey to look back, i saw a happy and happier version of me. It's our nature to ask for more and that was the mistake i got myself in so that's why i'm away, here.

I had a chance to talk to a monk, they say they are full of wisdom about life so why not (and they were practicing their English). The first question was why are you here? I'm thinking to say because of work (because it was partly that) but i just said, because i wanted to get away. He smiled. Maybe, it was a sign of a good thing. Another foreigner approached him and the monk ask the same question, the man said to find happiness though he didn't really looked sad. I smiled and let them have their conversation. I know some people have harder problems inside them even if it's not obvious so i think i understand what that foreigner means. It helps when you can just be frank about what you need and what you're looking for, hearing yourself say it --- validates all the mix feelings. You will still need answers, sometimes a lot, but at least now the question is clear.

This place, thought me to pray for myself again because it's ok. It's not selfish to look after yourself. I had one prayer before and i stop because obviously i wasn't reading correctly the answers. So, i won't be doing that anymore because i changed my prayer. I found here the simple life i wanted. I think of it again to be possible. People are nice and happy and it shows. I understood now, the difference in people like me and people not like me. I learn to be fair to myself. I can cry when i want to.

You know i really learned a lot from movies. I would like to believe that they were written for a reason. But sometimes, can't avoid to think that they are just movies. Love and Other Drugs. Jamie told Maggie, "Sometimes the things you want the most don't happen and what you least expect happens. I don't know - you meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed forever." I exactly know what he meant. 500 Days of Summer. Summer told Tom, "No. You we're right about love and all that. It's me that you were wrong about." For the record, I'm Tom. Last Night. Joanna told Alex, "Maybe i never wanted this to change. Everything changes, everything changes but this. This still hasn't, not for me. It hasn't lessen. I saw you this morning (hand gestures) and it the middle of most nights i still replay you." "Once you learn something like that, you can't unlearn it." "What I wouldn't have given to have tired of you." I wish i can tell the same lines she told him. But in character, we know my role is closer to Alex. One Day. Emma told Dexter, "I thought i got rid of you." Those lines, i'm afraid of because i think i can say it and at the same time i know i might not get the chance to. Because, i'm me and you're you. It's different.

Which is why this would be my second and could be last letter. I had plans to tell you about all the many things i would like us to do and stories i would like us to make, i'm sure you will like them. We can talk about it as long as you want because i do love listening to you. But I always imagined more than just writing to you and i know i can't change that. We are who we are. Know that I'll always cheer you anyway. ;) I promise to be always happy for you. Ingat.

Love always,
Reg