this is not on me

there are days that you just can look at yourself and tell yourself
look at you...
you stand here alone
you have given yourself more than you could
you have given others more than you could
but still..
here you are
you stand alone
after all these years
why is this universe so mean to you?
why can this universe make you happy?
for how long will you take this?
but i guess it is really not up to you
it's not your fault
this is not on you