gun fight

i don't know what i'm doing
i'm staring at this screen for a long time now
i'm trying to pour my thoughts so i can get over it
throw some feelings.. para maubos
yesterday, i didn't do anything
and the days before that
and i'm feeling.. also today and the next days
not that i don't have anything to do
i just don't get the sense that i need to
why? why bother?
i did make time for Mr. O'brien
he makes me happy since ever
i'm not liking my teammates these days
i want this project over
i'm starting a new one soon
that would require discipline and a constant routine
i know it's helpful for me
but...
really...
why? why do this again?
i'm tired playing the part
i feel that i've worked hard enough to change it or not change it a few times
but it feels like it wasn't up to me or it was never up to me
looking back, don't i deserve a little saving and happiness, something new?
i'm not sure how to explain that further
so dear somebody, tell me what to do.
i'm in gun fight and i'm all out.