are THEY made?

you believe in fairy tales? my mind has been clouded by THEY for the past weeks.. not bitter about it, not unhappy bout it.. just curious of the question. damn! sometimes when i get into drama, i get carried away...very well, movin on..
i have been asking myself this question: are they made? my mind has been battling this question long enough i can't even remember when it started. because, i want to know... if they are, how? how are they made? can i order? can i ask? Last Sunday, the priest told us, we did not need to bother God to ask for things he should not be answering... but i always did that.. i always ask... though i also say sorry... i just wnna know.. i can't help myself to know.... coz i want THEY. can i make it to THEY. what is THEY? (later.... Ü) a formula maybe, is there? just add water? i dnt know if everything in this world is by choice or by chance... is it fate or destiny? and are we just fulfilling that? if that's the case then the answer to my question is no. you can't change it? is it a phase we all we'll have? i wanna hear me say: its inevitable... --- i dnt really know.

if everything is by choice then the answer is yes. maybe it really is. movies, korean-novelas, soaps, plays, books, others.. why do we always know how it ends? the main end.. 80? 90%? it ends in THEY. over and over.. we know it. why? and how it ends that way? the script; the writer; the director; the people voted.. we want it.... we made it... or He made it for us.. THEY are made... but are they really? isn't that those are created based on reality? ok maybe not really... not 101% i should know i write too.. i write about a lot of things, about me or not me. a feelin. a thought. anything from real..

you watch a series.. you see yourself in one of the characters --- because you like it so much,
you try to put yourself in one.. (could be) --- because you it really is you in one ways or another. i know we always like to read and write about things we often relate to, sing in songs declared to be our personal anthems and give advices to our friends coz we did it a few times... hey! been there, done that right? nweiz, but unlike what you saw from that screen and far from what you've read you have different endings.... and the means doesn't justified the end.... then a sad reality. reality, checked! like black girls say it, "damn girl! wake up! of course! its a movie... you're not cinderella, girl" "you feelin me, girl? you understand?" (hahaha! ok stop!) like fairy tales that were told to us when we were kids, they all ended with that line.. "happily ever after" they always do that, don't they? maybe its for kids. just for kids. but y not? everyone deserves it.

im watching this series that i really can relate to... seriously. i tried to made a research on the ending and like what i thought it ended the same way... yeh,we had different endings. we made diff choices in between so we made diff endings. now im telling myself, i could've change it. could. and i could tell my grand daughters that that was my story but no.. regret is the ending i chose then. in our relationships, whatever it maybe... we hope for it (THEY). don't we? when things get bad, we get scared. we worry. we stop. we like to feel it.. we like to know. i like to know... to look forward. to get excited. to be thrilled. its everywhere. its around us.. we see it everyday. we celebrate it everytime..

fairy tales or not... for me,we write our own story. i want one.. im gonna try hard everyday to make one.. someday ul hear about it... we write our own ending. happy endings are made. ask yourself, are they?

"The surest way to be miserable is to have the leisure to wonder whether or not you are happy" -- George Bernard Shaw

what would make me leave the philippines?

1. when i see my family not able to fulfill their dreams
2. when i see my sister settling out alone in another country to save
3. when i see my father with an empty pocket
4. when i see my mommy use her personal savings for food
5. when i won't be able to shoulder enough the responsibilities i have

ang drama noh... well... tough times. i dnt really wanna go, in fact i dnt want my sister to go... i dnt like the reason that she's there.. whenever i think of it, it makes me cry... my tito, told us y we did let her? if before i dunno the answers, i know now..

ey, does anyone have that original email article, the one that a "chinese" guy wrote.. hehe.. just wna read.. he's right!

sniff sniff

sa bahay... no bebii no...

sa kotse.. wag na lng bebii...

si pachengcheng, cute!

kiss bebii.. wag iwan ate...

ang sad.. somebody hug me. bebii nooo! haaay....

lag

knina, pauwi ako... sa bus naisip ko... bat nga ba ngkkamali ang tao? bago man o parehas na bagay... ngkakamali pa rin? eto ang ilang SAGOT PINOY (labong sagot) na pumasok sa isip ko:

a. dahil isa pa! isa pa!
b. its lovelier the second time around
c. try and try until you succeed
d. ksi lht ng masama ay masarap
e. ..sa uulitin!
f. time is gold
g. the more the merrier
h. if u can't beat them, join them...
i. be one of us
j. tara let's tara! tara! tara let's!

bat ko naisip? di ko rin alam... Ü

syempre ito ay isa sa mga post na hinde ko na naman na-post.. hehe... drafts pa ito last tuesday.. mgttuesday na ulit... hehehe...

di ko na natapos dahil nawalan na ko net... pinaka-cut ko na ang unlimited ko pra mgswitch to dsl... Bayantel skyDSL phone plus package only Php 1,200.00. Nweiz, bat ba ako ngexplain?

personal anthem

Way back into love (Music and Lyrics)

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration 

Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love 

And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

haay... i could sing this all day!

drafts

last saturday, even before i watched music and lyrics that have open to me again the idea of writing... and even before i saw one of my friend who enjoys writing too had already started her blog... i been trying to write... yeah, i never really writed a number of happy thoughts lately.. i wrote this while im in a mall, waiting.... using the drafts folder of my service fone. rege writes...

I need a distraction
I need to get away
I need a break, a vacation
I need to reset

I might be feelin it again
I might be doing it again
I like to be wrong
I hate to try

A voice, im not hearin
Thoughts, im not thinkin
Momments, im not readin
No, not again

God, help me
Divert me
Direct me
Hold me

I'm trying here
I'm being strong
I'm wishin here
Hopin.

I need an inspiration
A hug
A smile
A grin

okay, okay... its not much, its not a song, its not a quote, or anythin different, just what i was thinkin... sometimes i just feel that i need to write my thoughts.. from anytime, anywhere... 1st drafts are final.

nothing to write about

its been hours since i clicked the new post button/link... and im still dnt have a fix topic to share,discuss or say...

its been days, weeks and months since my delayed posts... no pending drafts this time... so... what to say?

hmmmmm....

well, i've been working on a rnd project... big one! been stuck in the conference room for a month now... since we are the "the team", we should be faster than the rest... maybe stuck is not the word... we isolated ourselves to get the job done... and we are kinda failin'... we are soooooo....... delayed... since our boss doesn't have a choice, we still haven't got any foul words... nope.. not at this time... or maybe not yet.. (wopee! haha!) nweiz, so no fun there... been skipping gym.. weekends, sleep.. (aaagh! yeh,social life zero.) one thing good about is... "the team" are a team of my close friends at work.. at least we get to enjoy each other, laugh at each other, tease! sing! drive each other crazy... wala pang ng-aaway.. (but who knows...) haha! sna we could just live together under one roof! ...riot!

do you know its february?
hehe... its vday, mom's day, last days... haay....
vday, well... currently... im not gonna spend tis day like the vday we all know... (yeh, sorry rege.)
---
nweiz, its mom's day feb 13.. so ok na un! and i think, il have friends date on 14.. (ano, leia? movie? sorri ako lng date mo.. lungkot ka pa? musta hot air?)
---
last days... ksi, haay... bebii is goin away.. with one of my best friends din... this march 1.. maybe il write about it next time... i dnt really wnt to think about it yet...

so... its february. (sigh)
sna april na.

lately

what have i done lately?!! well, besides still updating my blogs after being desserted in an island so far, that wifi cannot seem to work... haha! what a story.... (la lng)

so, besides that.. im still updating... hehee... this is the last update... so, let's start.

actually, before christmas party... leia, one of my best girlfriends... got admitted at the UST hospital for an ovary operation... one of hers, has to go bcoz of a cyst that was there since she came in this world.. (lalim!) i must say that i got so worried about her... bcoz i was too busy at that time, i learned about the facts late. but dnt worry leia fans! she's finE now! she's doin' great! inalagaan ko sya ng mabuti... luv u leia! her wound still sours but she's ok... we had fun at the hospital... and even more during our anniversary... yes, anniversary... we had our 6th yr anniversary.. last 29th... as we always celebrate, we came in for the MMFF... we watched: Shake, Rottle and Roll 8, Zsa Zsa Zaturnah (which leia will see the play this jan) and Matakot ka sa Karma... we wasted money on the 1st movie... sna Ligalig na lng... its nice to be with my girlfriends again... i miss them a lot... and ill miss them again this month... galit-galit muna ksi... may tatapusin ako this month... haaay!

sa ofis, sharlene spend her last day full of memories, laughs and food! she will go to Chicago and try to find another life for her for at least a year... she'll come back if things won't work.. huhuhu.. we gave her a card, a picture keychain and some pics of her friends... we'll miss her a lot! we luv u sha!

sa bahay, we spend christmas as fun as last year.... had my Mom's requested dish cooked for her.... Spicy shredded beef with potatoes a.k.a (imported spicy corned beef) haha! ang sarap!

makakalimutan mo pangalan mo.... i help dadii prepare it.. ang galing ko! pwede na ko chef! for my dear nieces and nephews.... i gave them educational books and bags for the older ones... the day before new year, ninang na naman ako! Ü

sa bahay pa rin, like we always do every year.. we move the component outside to be played.. sad nga lng dahil wala pa ung magic sing that time... (got it free from citibank's reward pts) nweiz, this completes everything for new year... haha! while singin... we cook! had lechon kawali and adobong tuyo! syempre... chef reg in the house! wohoo! sarap! ul never forget the tastes.. it stays with you! haha! we followed the fruit thing... swertehen sna kmi!

at sa bahay pa ulit, we got the magic sing yey! came in last thursday.. grabe! so late.. pro wla na ko mggwa dun... wohoo! saya! so far, after several attempts.... in fairness, di ako bumababa sa 80 pro di naman tumataas sa 85... hahaha! more effort un laging sinasabi nya.. or not bad! hmp! ang ganda kaya ng boses ko.. hehe... Ü haaay.. thank God! we had a wonderful year... thanks for all the blessings!! ay... luk at my shoes... gift to myself! yez!

now, here's a sercret il share the world.. i had a dream.. a weird dream.. u know the F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode where Rachel dreamt of doing it with Chandler... yeh... like that! (geez, this is embarassing.. world, eat me!) i just want to get it over with my head.. so this might help... nweiz, so.. like that episode.. in a room.. i mean.. waa... a! e! i! no way that could happen.. i didn't started it but i didn't stop it.. (waaah! mean! bad!) nothing against the guy.. he's a nyc guy... but!! but..... but... speechless. shock. overwhelmed. okay so, the dream sequence ended! but continued...

we go out... we were havin fun, i was really happy and smilin.. grabe hanggang panaginip bungisngis! nkkhiya naman ako.. we were sweet... and were doin' ok..... how did that happen? anong year kaya dun sa dream?! after sometime i woke up and i still can't help thinkin that i had that dream... is it me?! they say dreams are your subconscious catching up on you... its in my subconscious?!! demm! there's a lot that of other things i want to be in there but y is that there?! im still tryin to go figure... maybe in a few days il know... wink*

rockista

wohoo! its christmas again in antico! this year, its been a rockstar christmas! hihi...
its really weird but let's just get on with the show....

yey! we had our party on a thursday again.... again.... tpos syempre may pasok pa bukas...wow!
di na naman ksi nkreserve ng earlier.... its the same setup again... again...

everyone is excited even its only mornin... no one is really in the mood to work... naman! and everyone had their lunch a little longer too... haha! petiks! petiks!

we are asked to leave at 6:00pm so, wohoo! at 5:00... no one is at work mode... hehe! countdown na! anyway... for the rockstar part...

i came in, wearing my rockstar attire... why delay it? the top i had was a top i swear i will wear on our christmas part no matter what the theme maybe.. it kinda fit.. its all white.. very girly.. puff sleeves.. with some shimmering things in my neckline.. so.... i make it up with the accessories.... no rings added coz i had that... i used 2 necklaces... one of which i made.. wala lng.. napadaan sa simple joys at ngk-idea... suot ko pa sya ngaun... the other is a black cross.. i wore a denim tokong and my high-cut.. add-on: a php 4.00 sticker tattoo on my left hand.. (kitchie nadal style) walla!

uri with the qa team.. started prep for the party.. uri became they're doll... they did his nails... his face and his hair... uri isda u? haha! ---- he won rockstar male.

reah, morphed into the rockstar girl we never imagine... fully accessories and equipped.... --- she won rockstar female. (i was nominated)

sir Kit, suprisingly... was a father rockstar too.... long sleeves with fire print on his arms... a marijuana bling bling... a skull ring... and denim jeans... jeez! is ur boss cool or what?!!

from our side... besides me... yeng was very rockstarish too... she had boots... denim fitted skirts and black tank-top ba un.. with design... (she was nominated too!) gino, was someone i still can't seem to remember the name... he was portraying a rockstar character i suppose... hehe! he wore a shirt thas has a man's body printed on both sides... with an aviator shades... a little pull on the boxers and he's a rockstar! (pok! pok! nga daw accdg sa knya.. he was nominated) hehe.. (slight! look at the pics)

so, showtime... we rode with gino to get there... got in earlier, the band was early and they started early.. they're good... they are called: Candles. more of a alternative, rock style band...im gonna buy their cd... i think they are signed under viva... we enjoyed they're gig! they're performance was great... i like the energy... they could have chosen more familiar songs... it rained... they had to stop after some time in fear of being electrocuted... we had to move... and it just sucks... we waited.. while waiting... our boss came too close in moving in a diff place.. when the rain stop.

we had a couple of games... our raffle.. i didn't won again again... kht ano kht metrobank bag! performances from antico ortigas and shaw c/o kaye --- next year... papakita nming mas talentado kmi... and special awards.... cheers to shen-shen and jm!

i didn't had beer this year, but wine.. di ko nafeel.. nobody got drunked coz boogs is late... gino was all red, dunno if his drunk or what.. jeff had 3 bottles.. never seen him like that... our sys-ads, i think are drunk.. the food was ok! i enjoyed the lasagna... and the mango like dessert.

i got my wish.. thanks lera! jaydee, i hope u like it! the party was ended by the band at 11:30... and a speech from sir.. yeah! we did have more fun this year! anyone can see it! a whole lot of pictures too...

nweiz, nice year guys!

next day, pictures are all over the server... no one got in early except for aimee.. haha! excited! we only got a workshop anyways, so no fuzz! but we wished we could have just sleep.. Ü

Cebu Week Vacation [Days 7]

MONDAY - Nov. 13, 2006

5:45 AM - Wake Up and Shower

yawn! hehe... i waited long for the sun to come out... and i did it! yehey! sunrise... o sunrise... aimee and i had fun doing the pics.. the videos... the silhouette(s)... which is kinda embarassing... hehe! kaye wasn't up yet... well, u know kaye... Ü that was actually my first experience to fully focus on sunrise... hehe... amazing... so, that's how it comes out... so... that how it starts... so, that how big it is... bright... and early!!! yeh.. we took a long time... haha! ok stop.

6:30 AM - Breakfast

I had the Filipino brekfast in spending our last minutes at the island... so soon.... huhuhu..... we are catching the 7:30 first trip back to hagnaya port....

7:30 AM - Off to Hagnaya Port

we were the last ones to ride the fairy this time we didn't take the air-con seats... we wanted to enjoy the view.... though its hard to leave the island... wwaaaaahhhhhhhhh.............

9:30 AM - Off to Cebu City

and we're back.... this time we are taking the bus to the city... fortunately we are early.. haha.... anyway, we were confident that the trip won't be too long coz its our cebu fav bus: CERES! haha! its still a long ride, so we sleep.. saya! sarap matulog! yawn.

12:00 NN - SM City

we stop here for lunch... aimee is set to meet with her relatives then kaye and i to tour the queen city... yey! syempre prang bata na may field trip.... wippeeee! txted our very own Manong... ung sa TOPS... pra mgpasundo... we eat at Sunburst Chicken.. not bad and nothing special... gutom lng.. Ü

1:15 PM - The Cebu Tour: Carbon Market
keychains - php 10.00 each (free lettering)

we arrived here 20mins after... then started taking on the shops one by one to look for souvenirs for friends.... we were looking for keychains... after some time we found one... at first, we were thinkin twice because the cute keychains we found don't have any text on them to tell us its from Cebu.... syempre, maabilidad si kuya noel(si manong cebu taxi service) he asked the local folks if they can add labels on them and yey! they can! we had pics with them too.. they liked the pics... i enjoyed talking to them and laughing with them.... feels homie. Ü

2:10 PM - The Cebu Tour: Magellan's Cross

the famous cross.. we were there... like they say.. kinda disappointing.. nothing special.. nothing amazing about the place.. like they say.. like quiapo before.... but the ceilings of its place was nice... i like the art... we had a hard time taking pictures coz.. its too high... haha!

2: 15 PM - The Cebu Tour: Bassilica de Sto. Nino

a few steps after the cross you will reach the church... its a big old spanish inspired church... pretty obvious actually... i like the fact that its big... i like how it looks on the outside, i like the details... i didn't like the inside of the church.... except for the garden.. there were a number of people even its a monday... its a busy church...

dumaan kmi dun sa sindihan ng mga kandila.. (sorii, di ko lam tawag e.. i forgot..) i like the curved cemented walls at the back.... i had to take a picture even if i wasn't suppose to.. sorry...

2:45 PM - The Cebu Tour: Fort San Pedro

like Fort Santiago in Manila, they have this... i haven't explored Fort Santiago so i can't really compare... it was this castle like fort... that has canons on top... watch towers on the side... pure rock surrounding whatever's inside.... large wooden doors... as if im awaiting an army to come out... it looked nice inside... i like the walk ong the left side.... i didn't understand the monkey statue on the tree.... it oversized... haha! and then the walk to the right side is ronda la tienda... which means te stores are located there... souvenirs, drinks, food.. etc... upstairs is a museum which features old artifacts of the history in cebu... which we can't take pics of.. heheh! naawa lng ako dun sa guard kaya di ko na sya dinaya... hehe..

3:30 PM - The Cebu Tour: Taoist Temple

syempre... palalampasin ba namin to?! the very famouse taoist temple... we came here to take pics of coarse and primarily because of the chance u get to ask Buddha for some guidance to ur questions.... i had fun asking... i think i finished 4 questions straight yes, 1 maybe then went yes again... ang nkkinis.. ung for not-so-much-for-myself question.. dun pa sya mag-no! weeh.... hehee fine!

4:30 PM - The Cebu Tour: Casa Gorordo

this is a house full of cebu history... i like this the best from all the places we toured.. y? because it the most educational about cebu.. hehhe... it has rooms.. like a casa.. from bedrooms, kitchen, living rooms, veranda, dining and toilet! ul walk on a red carpet path to view the rooms.... ul see obviously the furnitures are old and very antique... ang saya! feeling tourist ka tlga! so sad di pwede masyadong picture! so, nakaw pics lng meron ako.. hehee... its floor grounds look nice too.. perfect for picture takin! haha! kulit!

5:15 PM - The Cebu Tour: Pasalubong Shoppin'

suggestion ni kuya noel, dalin kmi sa pinaka-kilalang factory ng 7D pra makamura ng dried mangoes.. dahil madami-dami rin e... so, we go! 5:30 we got there.. tawid ako.. sbay "hi" kay manong guard... manong bili kmi... "sorry ma'am, uwian na po... close na factory" weeh.. manong naman.. di na pwede? "di na ma'am e"... balik sa sasakyan... kuya pano to... 5:30 sna dpt asa airport na kmi... 6:30 ang flight! dito ngsimulang ang kamalasan... trappik pa!
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ang tensyon nmin sa katawan ay amin nang naramdaman.... mukang tatakbo tyo ulit kaye... at infairness, ang dami nting dala this time.. lht ng bags pati kay aimee at ung mga pasalubong pa.. yikes pano to... tense! tense! tense!
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suggestion ulit ni kuya ung malapit nalng sa airport... o sya tara! 6:00 we arrived.. baba kaye! dali... ate, 4 na otap, 12 mangorind, 20+ na dried... dali.. onting baratan.. then pack it! pack it! pack it! ate! bilisan nyo.. bayad! kaye, sakay!
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manong, larga! kuya salamat ah..binigyan ko na lng sya 1k pra sarado.... the best ka kuya! i-aadvertise kita sa maynila! hehe!

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sa bilis lang pics... =(

6:15 PM - Cebu - Mactan Airport Arrival

kaye, baba! ang mga gamit.. text message from aimee: "asan na kyo? kktpos ko lng check-out counter"... kaye, dyan lng si aimee.. bitbitin mo lht ng kaya mo.. akin matitira... eto si kuya tumulong.. yehey! kaye, x-ray.. gamit.. tray! scan dali! kuya bilis! takbo kaye! sa counter..... kuya,.... to manila po... kuya:"sorry, ma'am boarding na po di na po pwede" guard: "bat ksi late kyo?, pa-rebook nyo na po yan ma'am" anoo!?!?! putcha na yan! cge na.. boarding pa lng nman e.. kkumpisa nyo lng... cge na ho! text message from aimee: "san na kyo? kkpasok k lng ng plane!" naman! pano to? "sorry ma'am di na po!" @#$@#$#!!!
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kung asa manila kmi pwede sana to.... dyan lng nman e... or kung cebuana sana kmi.. bwisit!
nkkinis sa twing iisipin ko ung init ng ulo ko lampas sa akin... at eto pa.. cost us php 900.00 each for the new ticket... walang pera.. walang dinner... at 2.5 oras na pagiintay... haaaay! kamalasan! y?!!?

****At long last! finished! sorry sa mga pngintay ko... eto na... on-time naman ako sa drafts e.. sorri wlang time ituloy. Ang saya.. grand total budget: php 12k less.... not bad d ba pra isang linggong salaysay ko ng kasiyahan... haay.. sana pwedeng ulit-ulitin... nweiz, panalo to! wala akong masabi... im proud of me... us... sariling sikap lht to noh! i wish sna masundan ang makatulong sa inyo...

for inquiries: email/ym me: iconpool@yahoo.com