unreal

I dreamed of you again
Of us, sir.
I don't know why and i don't know how.
Maybe there is a science to it.
But we were so happy.
Really happy.

It's nice seeing you again.
There were those silent moments that i was just staring at you
Looking at you
Smiling.

It is unreal to see you like that
To be that person with me.
But I enjoyed it.
Maybe i knew that it was a fleeting moment.
Maybe i knew it was a dream.

the code

nope. no. this is not one of those geek things. :) but you may already know that.
why else would she write? right?

i re-watched Fate of the Furious today with Mimi. (she haven't watched it)
if you're a fan, you know that Dom lives by a code.

I just realize that I've been living by the same code.
You may say, "and so is everyone else"
I say, "well good for us"
I can't speak for anyone else but i really take this Family seriously.
if i had to rank...
everything else is secondary.
or maybe coffee is 2nd then everything else comes next (haha)

my favorite family is my sister.
i was kinda forced into it (maybe) because i only got one sibling but the role really stocked in me
ever since our world began
can't remember a time i regret being "ate"
i know our age difference is just a year and sometimes she is more mature than me
i know i only want what's best for her in any case, any time, any where
i always think that maybe i have this mother's instinct when it comes to her
and i hate to say it but most of the time i know and feel its true
never have i turn my back on her, not once or  when "push comes to shove" i always stay on her side and cover for her
maybe il get mad at her, over react and start a fight with her privately in our own time
she thinks im just attacking her all the time
but that is to understand her and let out all my feelings too
i always tell her these:
it hurts a lot when she's the first person i trust and she does not trust me
it hurts when she knows i will never doubt her but im the first person she doubts
i hate the lies
she thinks i don't know them
because i can't do anything
i have to play the part
i need to be understanding and patient and let her make her decisions which i can only hope to be right, try to still trust her make the better choices

it deeply pains me everyday when i look at her but then again...
"You don't turn your back on family"

do you dance now

im at work, obviously not doing work
doing everything else that comes to mind
listening to Mr. Derulo, Kiss the Sky.
on repeat
if you haven't heard it, where were you? this is not a new song
currently, my favorite get me going / pick me up song
there are just those days that you need the right song to get through your days
this is my jam

Cause I believe we can fly now
Spread your wings and kiss the sky
Yeah, I believe we can fly now
Spread your wings, we're miles high
So we can kiss the sky
Oh kiss the sky

Do your dance, do your dance now

you don't know me

• You give your hand to me
  And then you say hello
  And I can hardly speak
  My heart is beating so
  And anyone can tell
  You think you know me well
  But you don't know me (no you don't know me)
  
  No you don't know the one
  Who dreams of you at night
  And longs to kiss your lips
  Longs to hold you tight
  Oh I am just a friend
  That's all I've ever been
  Cause you don't know me (no you don't know me)
  
  I never knew the art of making love
  No my heart aches with love for you
  Afraid and shy I let my chance go by
  The chance that you might love me too (love me too)
  
  You give your hand to me
  And then you say goodbye
  I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
  Oh you will never know
  The one who loves you so
  Well you don't know me
  
  I never knew the art of making love
  No my heart aches with love for you
  Afraid and shy I let my chance go by
  The chance that you might love me too (love me too)
  
  You give your hand to me
  And then you say goodbye
  I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
  Oh you will never know
  The one who loves you so
  Well you don't know me
  You don't know me
  Oh you don't know me

what change?

nothing actually.

still the same.

still here.

still me.

just older, i guess.

more tita.

maybe.

nothing exciting.

nothing interesting.

nothing new.

just the same old me.

but i wished i could tell you different.

im drunk, i love you

maganda! magaling! makatotohanan!

siguro madaming Carson sa atin, madaming makakarelate

and siguro meron din mga Dio, bka nga bestfriend mo din

madaming feelings tlga na nakatago sa friendship. masaya na kasama mo lagi ung taong mahal mo pero mahirap din kung magkaiba kayo ng definition nun.

best lines para sakin:

Dio: "ang hirap tlga hindian ung taong minahal mo ng sobra. alam mo un. ung walang wala ka na, pero pag nandyan sya kahit may onting natitira syo.. hindi mo magawa eh. di mo mahindian."

this is not on me

there are days that you just can look at yourself and tell yourself
look at you...
you stand here alone
you have given yourself more than you could
you have given others more than you could
but still..
here you are
you stand alone
after all these years
why is this universe so mean to you?
why can this universe make you happy?
for how long will you take this?
but i guess it is really not up to you
it's not your fault
this is not on you

a series of unfortunate events

last night and this morning, i confirmed something i don't understand.

how it happened? how it began?

but honestly i don't care how

i just wanted to know why?!?

why?!? 

why do people hurt the ones they love?

why of all the people that you know

those the ones closest to you will be the one to do the major lies

or betray you

why do they do that?

i think the reason is easier for lovers, they aren't happy anymore. it is hard, i know that. but i'll get that and i'll take that reason.

but what if it's family?

what could possibly be a valid reason that earned their right to ignore your

significance?
that you needed them

maybe they thought you won't mind, right?
that whatever happens you'll forgive

then when you correct them, they'll just tell you, you're being righteous

then if you speak your heart, they'll just tell you... you're full of drama

well... nevermind how you feel

everybody changes sh*t!!! 

whatever it is, you don't do that to family.

and what if it's one of your best friends?

now, you need to question that friendship and review yourself.. 

all the things you shared and did

together

why would someone not consider all that?

i need to find the whys...

i need to understand.

the lucky ones

some people have to choose between choice A or B

lucky are those who have this privilege

some people find this hard

some people just give up

some people just wanted to have the chance to choose 

some people just wanted to have someone to bring them coffee when they want to

infinite crisis

lately when i wake up

get out of bed

take my breakfast 

nothing really comes to mind

what to do today

where to go

who to be

like i don't want to be me

i use to have a reason

all people have a why

but i think im missing mine