i had a dream last nyt and it was good. i feel good as i wake up in the morning. wish i could have continued on the dream or there was more to it. bitin!
i had a dream and it was nyc.
it was weird but it was really ok.
kinda confusing but i dnt care.
more on being bothering but i guess i just have to settle.
i woke up smiling and that's a big deal.
it gets to a different level if you get to dream about stuff coz its already in your subconscious.
i think i know why i had the dream i'm just not sure about what the message would be.
hope its something good and positive.
i cannot splurge all the details of what it was about because of the person concern (as if prang matter of life and death ano.. well hayaan nyo na ko! :D)
bsta masaya! im trying to think all good about it. keeping my fingers crossed. still waiting for buddha's response (sa isdaan, may buddha. un!) oo, malabo na nman. eh ganun e. (haha! baliw!)
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
anong ibig sabihin?
anong ibig sabihin kung may dos? may uno d b? pro nsa dos ka na...
anong ibig sabihin pag napa-ngiti kht wala?
anong ibig sabihin nung lumabo na lng bigla?
anong ibig sabihin na tinatago?
anong ibig sabihin kung akala ko ganito?
anong ibig sabihin pag hinde ako....
anong ibig sabihin nung ginawa ko?
anong ibig sabihin na pareho...
anong ibig sabihin kung kailangan gumising?
anong ibig sabihin pag mali?
anong ibig sabihin nung kahapon.....
anong ibig sabihin na iba ngaun......
sana ma-gets ko na.
anong ibig sabihin pag napa-ngiti kht wala?
anong ibig sabihin nung lumabo na lng bigla?
anong ibig sabihin na tinatago?
anong ibig sabihin kung akala ko ganito?
anong ibig sabihin pag hinde ako....
anong ibig sabihin nung ginawa ko?
anong ibig sabihin na pareho...
anong ibig sabihin kung kailangan gumising?
anong ibig sabihin pag mali?
anong ibig sabihin nung kahapon.....
anong ibig sabihin na iba ngaun......
sana ma-gets ko na.
"may isang buwan sa dami ang naisulat, higit pa. iningatan maski walang kwenta. isang araw nakita ko.. nako! talo! ang deep. di malampasan. nawalan ng silbi ang telepono. pano kung ang ibig sabihin ay iyon? paksiyet! olats. sobra."
Sunday, January 20, 2008
what matters the most?
somebody come and ask you this question, would you be able to answer? would you specifically have an answer? not a lot of answers but an answer. i'm now glued to this series that has been keeping me going, and this question was asked.
well, he did had an answer and wow! i was overwhelmed by it. made me speechless. like my jaws just dropped. ok OA na. going back, he was not being asked. he just said it. he was talking to this other guy, with a picture in his other hand and said: "this is what matters to me the most, i dnt care about you!" isn't that the most sweetest selfish thing u ever heard? damn! i wish i could do the same. i wish i know and just say it like that. i know it was all acting and none of it was "real real" (if you know what i mean) but it was. its just so sincere (he just had it, that one answer to the question) the very question i am having a hard time to answer as i think about it now. i got a lot of reasons and thoughts on how i am gonna answer it but not one consistent idea of what it would be. is there something wrong with me? i should know right? oh my god. im not making any sense again.
nweiz, since i dnt have this fixed on my mind yet (big emphasis on the yet). i'll continue admiring what this guy just did. i'm gonna say it again.. wow! that would be the most sincere thing i ever heard so far (i hope so far), sad it was a series on TV and not from a real life moving event that i maybe involved in but at least. :D so, this guy.... i just admire him and his story.... and the way he believes in faith.. he said without it we are nothing. i never look at it like that but he's right. i admire the things he does for the people that really matters to him and for this one person that really answers this question. its what drives him. its the reason for anything and everything he is. just wow! he has a big heart in there, so real.
the thing is, like what i say: shit happens and good shit happens. this guy had all this shit happened to him and he took it pretty well but what would you do if that one thing that answers this question was taken away from you... what now? what would you do? what would drive you now? what would be your reason now? what would keep you going now? its just not fair. sometimes good people don't deserve the shit they are given. its too hurting and too much. i felt scared for him, concerned and as angry and helpless. its just not right. its not understandable. unforgiveable. you don't do that to someone.
ok. i maybe over reacting in this series (as if im not already, haha!) that i just can't stop thinkin of the situation. why?! why does bad things happen to good people? and why does it have to be a big bad thing, that just pushes you to the edge and fills every limit you have left? (nkk-pikon d b? na-nanadya... sinasagad ka...) so exhausting... so draining.... makes you mad and just loose it. well, its not always a happy ending right? and we always need to make room for that, always. but its still not fair. same thing happens to me... i dunno what il become. i'm sure it ain't good.. but before i think of that.... i may want to answer this question first huh? haha. guess i should start.
well, he did had an answer and wow! i was overwhelmed by it. made me speechless. like my jaws just dropped. ok OA na. going back, he was not being asked. he just said it. he was talking to this other guy, with a picture in his other hand and said: "this is what matters to me the most, i dnt care about you!" isn't that the most sweetest selfish thing u ever heard? damn! i wish i could do the same. i wish i know and just say it like that. i know it was all acting and none of it was "real real" (if you know what i mean) but it was. its just so sincere (he just had it, that one answer to the question) the very question i am having a hard time to answer as i think about it now. i got a lot of reasons and thoughts on how i am gonna answer it but not one consistent idea of what it would be. is there something wrong with me? i should know right? oh my god. im not making any sense again.
nweiz, since i dnt have this fixed on my mind yet (big emphasis on the yet). i'll continue admiring what this guy just did. i'm gonna say it again.. wow! that would be the most sincere thing i ever heard so far (i hope so far), sad it was a series on TV and not from a real life moving event that i maybe involved in but at least. :D so, this guy.... i just admire him and his story.... and the way he believes in faith.. he said without it we are nothing. i never look at it like that but he's right. i admire the things he does for the people that really matters to him and for this one person that really answers this question. its what drives him. its the reason for anything and everything he is. just wow! he has a big heart in there, so real.
the thing is, like what i say: shit happens and good shit happens. this guy had all this shit happened to him and he took it pretty well but what would you do if that one thing that answers this question was taken away from you... what now? what would you do? what would drive you now? what would be your reason now? what would keep you going now? its just not fair. sometimes good people don't deserve the shit they are given. its too hurting and too much. i felt scared for him, concerned and as angry and helpless. its just not right. its not understandable. unforgiveable. you don't do that to someone.
ok. i maybe over reacting in this series (as if im not already, haha!) that i just can't stop thinkin of the situation. why?! why does bad things happen to good people? and why does it have to be a big bad thing, that just pushes you to the edge and fills every limit you have left? (nkk-pikon d b? na-nanadya... sinasagad ka...) so exhausting... so draining.... makes you mad and just loose it. well, its not always a happy ending right? and we always need to make room for that, always. but its still not fair. same thing happens to me... i dunno what il become. i'm sure it ain't good.. but before i think of that.... i may want to answer this question first huh? haha. guess i should start.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
funny coincidence
well, it happened. twice this week. it happened. from before, did twice. and another and another. from la salle, grey's, veggies and today. just funny! and interesting and happy. some other people say there are no coincidence. please refer: Beneath Buddha's Eyes
if you say so... that would be great. :D i would like to think that there is a reason on anything and everything. we are where we at becoz we had to be here.... i may not know why... but i am here, so il be here. if u wud be here then i would be here... that's not coincidence. is fate?
maybe... i dunno. but its there. one way or the other, you cannot deny it. it happens.
if you say so... that would be great. :D i would like to think that there is a reason on anything and everything. we are where we at becoz we had to be here.... i may not know why... but i am here, so il be here. if u wud be here then i would be here... that's not coincidence. is fate?
maybe... i dunno. but its there. one way or the other, you cannot deny it. it happens.
Friday, January 04, 2008
gamer wannabe
im scared and brave enough to admit it. if i loose this in the end, im sure gonna be sad. ok, il
probably cry. its been a while since the last time i tried this game and i never knew instantly
that i was in it. so how is it? i dnt really know, its been fun the last weeks... i was doing well and i
feel i was. for the last couple of days....... hmmm..... i don't know. my mind is not in it right now. i
dnt even think im myself. i have too much to think about because i just have to. bummer! yah! i
am a looser. i dnt wanna be.... so, if there's a chance of not being the one with the big L in her
forhead, id like that. im not doing very good, im not a very good pretender sometimes especially
when im not focused. i am acting weird about this which i dnt need to. well, its sucks to be me. i
worry this stuff, this game matters to me as much as every other thing going on. im not ok, i
know i am not. im writing it to remind me. so even if i look like i am, dnt need to trust me. i need
a hug. like what i always say whenever i feel like im fading and being blown away. i want to
scream. maybe my brains would fall out and this will all be over. i want to get drunk and
unconscious. so for a moment il forget and go win this the time i get sober. i dnt really know if im
making any sense or have achieved laying out a point, this is not very straightforward.. i am not
being frank and that's just me sometimes. im sad and just wanting to write. today,
was not my day, i lost this day but shit happens and good shit happens, maybe il get my game on
and keep it together for some comeback. i dnt really know..... but i want to try. :D
for the win...
msyadong atang ma-drama, kanta muna: Parokya ni Edgar - Amats
probably cry. its been a while since the last time i tried this game and i never knew instantly
that i was in it. so how is it? i dnt really know, its been fun the last weeks... i was doing well and i
feel i was. for the last couple of days....... hmmm..... i don't know. my mind is not in it right now. i
dnt even think im myself. i have too much to think about because i just have to. bummer! yah! i
am a looser. i dnt wanna be.... so, if there's a chance of not being the one with the big L in her
forhead, id like that. im not doing very good, im not a very good pretender sometimes especially
when im not focused. i am acting weird about this which i dnt need to. well, its sucks to be me. i
worry this stuff, this game matters to me as much as every other thing going on. im not ok, i
know i am not. im writing it to remind me. so even if i look like i am, dnt need to trust me. i need
a hug. like what i always say whenever i feel like im fading and being blown away. i want to
scream. maybe my brains would fall out and this will all be over. i want to get drunk and
unconscious. so for a moment il forget and go win this the time i get sober. i dnt really know if im
making any sense or have achieved laying out a point, this is not very straightforward.. i am not
being frank and that's just me sometimes. im sad and just wanting to write. today,
was not my day, i lost this day but shit happens and good shit happens, maybe il get my game on
and keep it together for some comeback. i dnt really know..... but i want to try. :D
for the win...
msyadong atang ma-drama, kanta muna: Parokya ni Edgar - Amats