what matters the most?

somebody come and ask you this question, would you be able to answer? would you specifically have an answer? not a lot of answers but an answer. i'm now glued to this series that has been keeping me going, and this question was asked.

well, he did had an answer and wow! i was overwhelmed by it. made me speechless. like my jaws just dropped. ok OA na. going back, he was not being asked. he just said it. he was talking to this other guy, with a picture in his other hand and said: "this is what matters to me the most, i dnt care about you!" isn't that the most sweetest selfish thing u ever heard? damn! i wish i could do the same. i wish i know and just say it like that. i know it was all acting and none of it was "real real" (if you know what i mean) but it was. its just so sincere (he just had it, that one answer to the question) the very question i am having a hard time to answer as i think about it now. i got a lot of reasons and thoughts on how i am gonna answer it but not one consistent idea of what it would be. is there something wrong with me? i should know right? oh my god. im not making any sense again.

nweiz, since i dnt have this fixed on my mind yet (big emphasis on the yet). i'll continue admiring what this guy just did. i'm gonna say it again.. wow! that would be the most sincere thing i ever heard so far (i hope so far), sad it was a series on TV and not from a real life moving event that i maybe involved in but at least. :D so, this guy.... i just admire him and his story.... and the way he believes in faith.. he said without it we are nothing. i never look at it like that but he's right. i admire the things he does for the people that really matters to him and for this one person that really answers this question. its what drives him. its the reason for anything and everything he is. just wow! he has a big heart in there, so real.

the thing is, like what i say: shit happens and good shit happens. this guy had all this shit happened to him and he took it pretty well but what would you do if that one thing that answers this question was taken away from you... what now? what would you do? what would drive you now? what would be your reason now? what would keep you going now? its just not fair. sometimes good people don't deserve the shit they are given. its too hurting and too much. i felt scared for him, concerned and as angry and helpless. its just not right. its not understandable. unforgiveable. you don't do that to someone.

ok. i maybe over reacting in this series (as if im not already, haha!) that i just can't stop thinkin of the situation. why?! why does bad things happen to good people? and why does it have to be a big bad thing, that just pushes you to the edge and fills every limit you have left? (nkk-pikon d b? na-nanadya... sinasagad ka...) so exhausting... so draining.... makes you mad and just loose it. well, its not always a happy ending right? and we always need to make room for that, always. but its still not fair. same thing happens to me... i dunno what il become. i'm sure it ain't good.. but before i think of that.... i may want to answer this question first huh? haha. guess i should start.