it's up to me

they say it's easier to be responsible for your own than to be of others
i'm not really sure if that's true
sometimes you care for people unconditionally
you get used to it
and one day you realize they're ok on their own
so even when it's hard
you stay away
because that will keep everything normal
and they can stay happy
because that's all that matters

i miss him.
even just a friend.
but i think, he's really happy now.

and it's up to me, to be happy too.



(To myself: remind self not to watch that movie again. from now on, you hate that movie. don't forget the book.)

song meaning

my friends say, i sing differently
i heard the same thing at home
they say, i did a good job
i dunno

there are songs that gets really close to your heart
and it shows when you sing them
i hope they get me for that
no explanations need to be said
just smiles

losing my religion

"I think different religions are different doors to the same house. Sometimes I think the house exists, and sometimes I don’t. It’s the great mystery."
― Steve Jobs

"Religions get lost as people do."
― Franz Kafka

“Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make them wear your shoes.”
― George Carlin

"All religions are the same:  religion is basically guilt, with different holidays." 
― Cathy Ladman

"I'm not religious, but I like God and he likes me." 
― Tony Kushner, Angels in America

“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.”
― Albert Einstein


Life is bigger
It's bigger
And you, you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up

this way to the clouds

i conquered.
yeah!
akala ko hindi ko kakayanin umakyat pa ng bundok
pro yey! nagawa ko
i'm so proud of myself
i gave mother nature / father mountain they're second and last chance (haha)
nagpapasalamat ako na hindi nman nila ko pinatay (hehe)
pina-iyak, gaya ng dati
feeling ko ang galing galing ko lang
no amount of my walking routine can match yung nalakad ko dun
yung 5k - 10k panis!
naawa ako sa puso ko.
akala ko bibigay sya.
so there, i found out that i do have a weak heart and lungs.
akala ko imagination ko lang eh.
but its still working.
and the important thing is, i made it!
wohoo!
it was beautiful!
ang ganda!
dun mo tlga masasabi na someone powerful than us did an awesome job making this world.
wow!
so, lahat ng hirap was worth it.



i'm suppose to repeat my trips but i think that will be my first and last. (hihi) :)

specials

you can really be amazed how some people can get into your life easily
and choose not to go anywhere
to stay and play a part
the ones who always let you know that they are there
even when you can't be with them
those who can tell you things that matter
either they make sense or not
those who won't judge but corrects you
those who knows when your missing
those who help you get busy and "more busy" ;)
those who treat you both as an independent and dependent normal person
and those who will bother to take time to talk, laugh, hug it out and be crazy with you
especially when you need to

it's crazy sometimes how we choose to hold on too long for people and wait until they do those small roles
and hope they know that you'll do it for them too
when there are those few, who just do
without doubts and no hesitation

don't waste time not spending with those person(s)
they are rare
they should be the special ones.

nice to know you

only say it when you mean it

i'm glad to know that some things never change
especially the good stuff
sometimes, some people will really know you,
help you
and watch out for you in their smallest ways
even when they don't have to
even if they know you can do it on your own

diary

from the best of bread
bumili kc ako ng mix combined with cascades, everly brothers and one of my fav, beegees
mas uso to nung grade school ako hanggang high school
di ko tlga trip ang bread nun pro naappreciate ko rin sya pagtagal
peer pressure cguro
may certain twist pala yung kanta
ngayon ko lng nabigyan ng attention yung lyrics
ayon din sa songmeaning
akala ko nman natuwa ung nagbasa ng diary
"wouldn't you know it, she doesn't show it"
galing! not bad for a sad song.

the best pa rin ang make it with you! ;)

old & crazy

when we get old and crazy
i wonder what it would be like
what would i look like
im sure i'd be cooler than you
you.. will be cranky
maybe much silent than ever
but still weird. good weird.
we'll have lots of Polaroids together
but you don't remember most of them
we could replay some movies we like
and i listen to your comments over and over
you bought me a vinyl and i love it!
so we can play old songs and sing along
you drive me around on Saturdays, for a change, finally!
i'm a faster driver but i like you're slow driving
at night,
you take your glasses and read anything then scribble notes
i watch tv and think of something i can instagram at my age
then we talk about random things on the phone
until we decide to sleep and tell good night.

Good night Sir!