i will never know

1:43AM just finished watching Me Before You. You know it, i cried.

Anyway, so from grade school I always have this plan in my head for the events that's gonna happen in my life. school-work-wedding-family-business etc.

Of course, life is life and i can't really direct everything that's gonna happen. Although its nice to know something sometimes, to see a plan.

Some i did do, some were late, some i didn't do, some are not even close.

I'm not usually bothered by this but im getting the feeling that i need something big to change my life now and actually i don't know how to do it or if its even in my hands. 

Like what i always say, im used to doing things on my own.. i can do it all! (there are times, that i may need a push but i can cheer myself if need be)

Honestly, i think im doing a pretty good job at it. really good maybe.

So, i don't know if universe or God will still decide one day to give me someone to do things with. 

Maybe there is a lesson here i've yet to learn or there is still something that i need to prove to the universe or maybe this is punishment for my wrong doings.. i don't know.

If someone will come, then il meet him.

If there's none, then there's nothing new.

This particular plan, i will never know... 

I don't want to get my hopes up.