the explanation

first, this might sound crazy
i admit it.
i love you first.
how you make me happy?
it's weird. really.
in the beginning,
i don't know how to call the feeling
or maybe i don't want to call it at all
because we're just friends
a nice wall was in place until
the unexplainable things
that i decided i wanted a door

second, sorry for the cheese
when you love someone
of coarse, you should be with them
tell them a corny joke once in a while,
wish they remember it everyday
write about them and call them names,
hopefully they get it
see them on their birthdays,
christmas and new year
smile on their weirdness
remember the small things you don't get from each other
try to read the book they like and wonder why they like it
download their songs and make a mixed tape
build wishlist from notebooks and check them together
even when i already knew we can't.

third, the plot continues
guess that's the reason that i'm
confusing
constant debate on what to do is in my head.
no OFF button was included.
random crying
tried to keep myself busy
fill up the timeline and do other stuff
thought i could maybe ignore things
but i can't.

fourth, perhaps a resolution
i know i can't make it go away instantly
and make everything right
so, yes im avoiding you
but i will have to get back to you some other time
maybe when i have that OFF button.
i learned a lot from you.
i told you that before.
i still wish i can meet your good job Lola.
sorry for the delay of this explanation
i'm on indefinite leave, Sir.


fifth, here goes why
(Harry of Harry Met Sally said:
"Because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody you want to start the rest of your life as soon as possible.")

small small world

have you seen how small it is?
i keep bumping into people that are somehow connected to you
keep finding new songs that tells the same story
keep hearing that name without asking (you got a very common name)
like the song,
always something there to remind me
on repeat mode
no matter how far
how long
how busy
how fast
how different the path i take
couldn't make this world any bigger
so, i guess
until we meet again


(been keeping all these drafts. time to post. coming up next, "the explanation")

leonor rivera

i never really knew her
so i searched
her, him and him & her
then i read what she did
what she did to the letters that Rizal gave her
they say she burned them
hem the ashes to her wedding gown
or her burial gown
as a reminder of a love that can't be
tricked to marry a man
who's a stranger to her heart
mother of two
died young
i paused
overwhelmed by her story
then sadness
they said she was his great love
so the question is, to be or not to be leonor rivera?
i choose. . .

Daddy and me

 

Happy Father's Day Daddy!

rewrite

Once upon a time, i made a short wishlist for two.
Yesterday, i accepted that they were unachievable.
Today, i rewrite.

in your shoes

why are you doing this?
what are you doing?
anything you're looking for?
do you need something?
you do this
it's not funny
you keep sticking around
but like a stranger
i don't understand that
you should go
don't have to be here
go home
you can stop coming back

make it happen

we all develop a certain kind of addiction
we can't seem to let go off
undeniably, we became dependent to that certain idea
like an inception
and we wait
we wait until we satisfy the addiction
we all wait for something
guess, it's hard not to
there's always a number of reason why we should wait
by numbers, it's a winner
no wrong in waiting
we should take all the time we need
yet we can't forget
the addiction
like a cancerous disease
it creeps up on us
we can always choose to not wait
change plans
do a rewrite
make it happen

amazing race

since madalas di ko naman maintindihan si Sir
at for sure wala naman paliwanag kay google
minsan nagtatanong din ako
sa ibang tao
malay ko kung sila may explanation
may times kc na kailangan mo nun eh
anyway, tingin ko kasi magkaugali sila sa parts na yun
baka magkakilala sila nung past life nila (haha)
sabi nya, wag ko naman daw i-off. wag naman akong maging cold.
masakit din daw sa knila kasi invested din sila kahit papano at kung pareho nga sila ng iniisip...
ginagawa nila yun dahil isa pala itong unahan.
kesa maunahan pa raw sila sa paglayo.
hmmm.
medyo malabo ang intindi ko dun pero parang malinaw na rin.
parang ngayon mas nagets ko na sya kahit papano.
may race pala akong nasalihan at huling-huli na ko
pero kung ganun hahayaan ko na lang siya ngayon
ang finish line naman ay start line din
so dito lang muna ako tatambay.
maniwala man sya o hinde,
wala akong lakad.
malinaw yan a. ;)

mahabang jeepney ride

Sira ang LRT
kaya nauwi sa jeep
byaheng Gil Puyat - Monumento
P20 na pala ang bayad
nagmamadali sana ako makarating ng bahay
pero hinde
andami ko pa sana gagawin
pero hinde
nakinig ako ng radyo para maiba
inabutan ko si Jojo
Si Jojo ay isang guest sa Boys Night Out
sawi sa pag-ibig ang kwento niya
ngayon sikat na sya
laftrip tong si Jojo
may matutunan ka rin sa kanya kahit papano
well ganun lang talaga ang buhay
minsan sira ang LRT ang choice mo ay mag-jeep
minsan magiging radio DJ ka at
taga-payo sa lab kahit hirap ka mag-english
minsan wala ka lang magawa at maiisipan mong tumawag sa radio station para magpacute lang o baka magpapansin
kung ano man ang dahilan para sa mga bagay bagay
wala na tayo dun
gawin mo na ang gusto mong gawin
minsan ayoko ng rin isipin
pigilin natin, paka-busy ka
mag generate ka ng sarili mong fun sabi nga ni Ramon Bautista
itulog mo o kaya itweeter mo si Jojo
sure, wala yan.

(Sa sobrang kaantokan ko kagabi, di ko pala napublish. Wala kong nagawang assignment at late na ko ngayon. Haha.)

May fun sa mahabang jeepney ride.

"Pride goes by if buried, six feet under the ground"

drowning

everytime i breathe
i take you in
and my heart beats again
maybe i can't help it
i keep on drowning in your love

everytime i try to rise above
i'm swept away by love
maybe i can't help it
i keep on drowning in
your love.