the explanation

first, this might sound crazy
i admit it.
i love you first.
how you make me happy?
it's weird. really.
in the beginning,
i don't know how to call the feeling
or maybe i don't want to call it at all
because we're just friends
a nice wall was in place until
the unexplainable things
that i decided i wanted a door

second, sorry for the cheese
when you love someone
of coarse, you should be with them
tell them a corny joke once in a while,
wish they remember it everyday
write about them and call them names,
hopefully they get it
see them on their birthdays,
christmas and new year
smile on their weirdness
remember the small things you don't get from each other
try to read the book they like and wonder why they like it
download their songs and make a mixed tape
build wishlist from notebooks and check them together
even when i already knew we can't.

third, the plot continues
guess that's the reason that i'm
confusing
constant debate on what to do is in my head.
no OFF button was included.
random crying
tried to keep myself busy
fill up the timeline and do other stuff
thought i could maybe ignore things
but i can't.

fourth, perhaps a resolution
i know i can't make it go away instantly
and make everything right
so, yes im avoiding you
but i will have to get back to you some other time
maybe when i have that OFF button.
i learned a lot from you.
i told you that before.
i still wish i can meet your good job Lola.
sorry for the delay of this explanation
i'm on indefinite leave, Sir.


fifth, here goes why
(Harry of Harry Met Sally said:
"Because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody you want to start the rest of your life as soon as possible.")