i owe a friend this post(well, a part of this post) so that she can read my side of the story about the other night. hehe. well, the truth is i dnt have much anything to say. uv seen it all. u were there. i had fun and i had fun. lam mo na un. hehe. i enjoyed the night although i was really sleepy before that. i wanna thank you for that very very nice comment and pleasant reaction. sorii, i really didn't notice. mukang guilty nga kc cguro kaya NR. haha! so, this was about the other day.
today.... if someone asked me how was i 2-3hrs ago. sasabihin ko.. "wag mo muna ko kausapin, bad trip ako." bad3p tlga! hmp!!! nako.. nkk-inis! gs2 kong sumigaw. obviously, i went home earlier than expected coz i just can't stand staying at the office anymore. not that i hate being there.. may issue lng and everyone is tense and paranoid and i can't be with them any longer. too much negativity and i dnt wna hear it. it's doesn't really help and ease anything. so, why bother ur brain thinkin? dnt get me wrong, i understand. i just think that sometimes, people should learn how to keep things to themselves.
nweiz... that was one thing why i was bad3p. the other thing was.. about this weekend. my friends and i were planning this trip for the long weekend since i dnt know when.. hehe. and unfortunately there was a final change of plan this lunch time that screwed everything. of coarse, i understand. i just got really frustrated and sad. i really wanted to go. in fairness, there was of coarse numerous attempts to come up with alternates... i, of coarse is still interested kc nkpg-paalam na ko.. galit na kmi ng kapatid ko... ng-cancel na ko ng lakad at ready na kong maging pasaway. hehehe.... (tigas ulo ko noh?) so ituloy na dapat. but then every plan was being scratch. wooo! nkk-inis tlga... nkk-pikon. honestly, minsan lng ako ma-irita... at ma-pikon kya pag nangyari un.. malamang totoo. ayoko tlga ng malabong usapan. i did loose my patience for a couple of seconds during lunchtime and that's just me being me in the situation. during our afternoon break, i already given up and stayed quiet after sometime. i already lost my excitement. masaya sna... haaayz... there are things better not knowing. (mukang guilty. hmp! reg! hmp!)
like i said, i went home earlier. i ran with my other office friend and maybe he notice i was sad. sabi nya... "i-inom na lng ntin yan..." i smiled.. and thought... "tama ka... cge bukas."
well, that was hours ago. i calm down after i ate KFC and now, while watching 3 dads and 1 mom.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
number ones
one time i was asked what are my top fav songs.... name three(3).
it was torture!
i like a lot of songs... and i mean a lot!
i really had a hard time thinking about it then.....
took awhile before i even can give one.
i then said..
So Little Time, Arkana
Took a while to drag me out of bed,
Aim some coffee at my head,
Saw the clock I'm running late,
Its an ordinary day.
And I'm like a dog on head,
Knock one out and then fall asleep,
Its sad but true,
Id rather be with you.
Don't you forget about me,
When you're a celebrity,
It will be only you and me
before too long.
So little time so much to do,
I'd rather spend my days with you.
So little time so much to do,
I'd like to spend one day with you.
And if that day is not enough,
Maybe we can stay in touch,
But I'm not making plans for tomorrow,
For tomorrow never comes.
then ugh. can't really think of the next song....
until i browse to my phone and..
Stellar, Incubus
Meet me in outerspace
I will hold you close, if your afraid of heights
I need you to see this place, it might be the only way
That I can show you how, it feels to be inside of you
How do you it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew
How do you do it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew
and then.... i know it's corny but... hehe.
Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore, Reo Speedwagon
And even as I wander
Im keeping you in sight
Youre a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winters night
And Im getting closer than I ever thought I might
And I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
Its time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever
Cause I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crashing through your door
Baby, I cant fight this feeling anymore
i can't really say that these are final. i think these are the ones on top of my head amongst all the songs i really really like. these are the songs, i strongly feel i could sing over and over(ok cge na nga, kht pa always with feelings... haha!)
it was torture!
i like a lot of songs... and i mean a lot!
i really had a hard time thinking about it then.....
took awhile before i even can give one.
i then said..
So Little Time, Arkana
Took a while to drag me out of bed,
Aim some coffee at my head,
Saw the clock I'm running late,
Its an ordinary day.
And I'm like a dog on head,
Knock one out and then fall asleep,
Its sad but true,
Id rather be with you.
Don't you forget about me,
When you're a celebrity,
It will be only you and me
before too long.
So little time so much to do,
I'd rather spend my days with you.
So little time so much to do,
I'd like to spend one day with you.
And if that day is not enough,
Maybe we can stay in touch,
But I'm not making plans for tomorrow,
For tomorrow never comes.
then ugh. can't really think of the next song....
until i browse to my phone and..
Stellar, Incubus
Meet me in outerspace
I will hold you close, if your afraid of heights
I need you to see this place, it might be the only way
That I can show you how, it feels to be inside of you
How do you it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew
How do you do it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew
and then.... i know it's corny but... hehe.
Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore, Reo Speedwagon
And even as I wander
Im keeping you in sight
Youre a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winters night
And Im getting closer than I ever thought I might
And I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
Its time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever
Cause I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crashing through your door
Baby, I cant fight this feeling anymore
i can't really say that these are final. i think these are the ones on top of my head amongst all the songs i really really like. these are the songs, i strongly feel i could sing over and over(ok cge na nga, kht pa always with feelings... haha!)
thinking activity
pipol alwys cm down to 1 thnkin activity, evn wen drs nthn 2 think about. pipol create sumthn 2 thnk about. wn pipol say they dn wna thnk, their lyin.
d thing s dt thinkin onli helps when u choose to accept it does.. i dunno d facts bt.. am i ryt? or am i ryt? people jst luv to thnk. evn d impossible. evn d unthkable. evn wn u dnt hve 2 n 2 much wn u hve 2. thnkin change thngs. thinkin often gets u ol logical n ideal.. often ryt bt seldom real..
note 2 thy self: nvr evr overthnk. evr.
d thing s dt thinkin onli helps when u choose to accept it does.. i dunno d facts bt.. am i ryt? or am i ryt? people jst luv to thnk. evn d impossible. evn d unthkable. evn wn u dnt hve 2 n 2 much wn u hve 2. thnkin change thngs. thinkin often gets u ol logical n ideal.. often ryt bt seldom real..
note 2 thy self: nvr evr overthnk. evr.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
why prolong the agony?
i just had a nyc bonding moment with my long-time friend from college last saturday night. after work (yes, i came in) i took the liberty of having fun and unwinding. and what is the one thing that makes me unstress? movie! (i have to admit that KFC and 3 dads & 1 mom was my other options specially weekdays, which i did) we watch pineapple express. perfect! it was damn funny! you have to watch. after movie, there are many things we've talked about and i missed that about us. we realize over our conversations that there were a lot of other things why we were friends. shet, BFF? =p
nweiz, so why the title? i just realize that i've really changed or is changing in making decisions in my life. i do feel that sometimes i feel like im trying to get so many things done coz i have to. which worries me like you can never imagine. like im in a hurry. why prolong the agony? i hate waiting sometimes. i get tired, i get bored. i feel time is being wasted on things i dnt really wanna do or should nt do at all. simple as that. i always believe that it is always a yes or a no. nothing in between. even when unsure there's still a bigger side and we know it. we just dnt wanna say. im becoming more and more decisive in diff aspects of my life and i think, is a good thing. what im saying is if its something i have to do or im sure i will do one way or the other. i do it. i say, why not? its gonna be sometime right? so why not today? hehe. how soon is now? how far is near? sabi ng friend ko. "di ka nman si darna!"
well of coarse, im not perfect. and i dnt make the right decisions all of the time but then that's life. it should suck sometimes. i could be wrong every now and then. people can hate me. il make it up and will say im sorry. haha! like i always say: good shit happens. so, need not to be scared. why prolong the agony? if it happens, it happens. i should not worry. why make life miserable when its already too challenging living it? life is too short, why so serious? haha! move if you have to. make it happen. but we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves. i know, im not d same fan of the long-term planning committee lately for the past years specially on one topic in our lives (and what could that be?! hmmm!) and i think that's just fair. we can always be careful in hoping. we dnt wna keep it too high and too low. i choose to just enjoy the moment whatever it is. there's a bigger reason and explanation why we are where we are and we just need to take time to understand it. i choose to be spontaneous and it doesn't mean i dnt care.
nweiz, so why the title? i just realize that i've really changed or is changing in making decisions in my life. i do feel that sometimes i feel like im trying to get so many things done coz i have to. which worries me like you can never imagine. like im in a hurry. why prolong the agony? i hate waiting sometimes. i get tired, i get bored. i feel time is being wasted on things i dnt really wanna do or should nt do at all. simple as that. i always believe that it is always a yes or a no. nothing in between. even when unsure there's still a bigger side and we know it. we just dnt wanna say. im becoming more and more decisive in diff aspects of my life and i think, is a good thing. what im saying is if its something i have to do or im sure i will do one way or the other. i do it. i say, why not? its gonna be sometime right? so why not today? hehe. how soon is now? how far is near? sabi ng friend ko. "di ka nman si darna!"
well of coarse, im not perfect. and i dnt make the right decisions all of the time but then that's life. it should suck sometimes. i could be wrong every now and then. people can hate me. il make it up and will say im sorry. haha! like i always say: good shit happens. so, need not to be scared. why prolong the agony? if it happens, it happens. i should not worry. why make life miserable when its already too challenging living it? life is too short, why so serious? haha! move if you have to. make it happen. but we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves. i know, im not d same fan of the long-term planning committee lately for the past years specially on one topic in our lives (and what could that be?! hmmm!) and i think that's just fair. we can always be careful in hoping. we dnt wna keep it too high and too low. i choose to just enjoy the moment whatever it is. there's a bigger reason and explanation why we are where we are and we just need to take time to understand it. i choose to be spontaneous and it doesn't mean i dnt care.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
present day
a post from today.
i went away last weekend n i had fun. i really had fun last weekend. last weekend i had fun. the fun last weekend i had. hahahaa! nweiz, let's do that again.. :D
i went away last weekend n i had fun. i really had fun last weekend. last weekend i had fun. the fun last weekend i had. hahahaa! nweiz, let's do that again.. :D
belated
this was a post from 2 days ago.
ouch! that made me shut up and remain quiet. i cnt breathe. im on a high. my mind is all over this place. there's no ground. im tryin to stop myself. i cnt do this. not now. fast forward pls.
hours after. the rain already passed n im soakn wet. im sitting nxt to unknown n d feeling s jz crazy. half of me sayin yes and the other half is sayin no. hw can i do ds 2 myself? guess, i like the challenge.
seconds after. a song played in my head.... evryday situations begin 2 simplify. cz thngs wil nvr b d sme agn btwn u n i. i intertwine r lyf forces n tryin to unify. (edited song of coarse)
ouch! that made me shut up and remain quiet. i cnt breathe. im on a high. my mind is all over this place. there's no ground. im tryin to stop myself. i cnt do this. not now. fast forward pls.
hours after. the rain already passed n im soakn wet. im sitting nxt to unknown n d feeling s jz crazy. half of me sayin yes and the other half is sayin no. hw can i do ds 2 myself? guess, i like the challenge.
seconds after. a song played in my head.... evryday situations begin 2 simplify. cz thngs wil nvr b d sme agn btwn u n i. i intertwine r lyf forces n tryin to unify. (edited song of coarse)
Sunday, October 05, 2008
exactly!
i am in chillax mode. (since i worked yesterday) went by my friends' blogs. got a few laughs specially lonermode's entries. then thought i stopped by tikoy's. her most recent entry said something like:
"it's hard to wait for something that you know might never happen, but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want..."
damn! that's deep, pare! pro un un e... exactly what i mean.....
"it's hard to wait for something that you know might never happen, but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want..."
damn! that's deep, pare! pro un un e... exactly what i mean.....
Saturday, October 04, 2008
at least
at least there was one reason to shmyl today. thanks. :D [fine! talo na ko sa araw na to..]
at least di nman nauwi sa away ung mumunting diskusyon nmin nila momii at dadii knina.. haayz... minsan di ko lam kung alin ang mas mahirap... maging ako o maging sila? hehe.
at least i did get my job done today. slight. may 3 items ako na tagged For Review. 8 ang quota per dev per day. hanep! actually nk-10/11 ako. kso due to a show stopper. di ko sya ma-unit-test. pro coded na. :D may 2 na lng ata ko not started, the rest is In Progress. yez! bibo!
at least may isang araw pa ko na weekend. hehe.. hayaan na ntin bayad nman. ayoko lng tlga ngttrabaho ng Sabado. Saturday is my day, i should not work at all... :D
at least i have the remaining 3 hrs of my Saturday to watch Grey's and the Office. :D at cguro irereplay ko ang Prison Break pra sumaya-saya nman ako. hihi. (adik!)
at least... there are enough small things to get you through one big bad day.
at least di nman nauwi sa away ung mumunting diskusyon nmin nila momii at dadii knina.. haayz... minsan di ko lam kung alin ang mas mahirap... maging ako o maging sila? hehe.
at least i did get my job done today. slight. may 3 items ako na tagged For Review. 8 ang quota per dev per day. hanep! actually nk-10/11 ako. kso due to a show stopper. di ko sya ma-unit-test. pro coded na. :D may 2 na lng ata ko not started, the rest is In Progress. yez! bibo!
at least may isang araw pa ko na weekend. hehe.. hayaan na ntin bayad nman. ayoko lng tlga ngttrabaho ng Sabado. Saturday is my day, i should not work at all... :D
at least i have the remaining 3 hrs of my Saturday to watch Grey's and the Office. :D at cguro irereplay ko ang Prison Break pra sumaya-saya nman ako. hihi. (adik!)
at least... there are enough small things to get you through one big bad day.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
aun!
day 1 at the fate bench. ang hirap! it was madness! ugh! di ko ata matatagalan sa beach na to.. mukang kailangan tlga mglaro.. pro hinde, bawi bukas.. hehe. bawal mglaro reg. bawal! [focus reg!! focus!] pro i really can't stop smiling. kagabi, knina, ngaun. shet!!!! [it's hard, pare! it's hard.]
nweiz, let me tell you about my day. i started the day with my ipod plugged in my ears from the second i stepped out our door. what am i listening to? chillout and house. its loud. in my defense, i was really sleepy, i dnt wanna give-in. i also wanted to concentrate on my readings and review pra hinde nman ako antukin... no chance, il sing with it.. dahil hinde mo sya makakanta :D
this morning, i bumped with Ms. Reggie from Resource and asked about the upcoming project. She said: "gusto mo?" then smiled and walked away. I didn't really had a clue on what she meant. I didn't took her seriously.
came lunch. ate at World Tops. had a nyc Pan Am Chicken. i was really hunger! :D
i made a wish after lunch while we were in the elevator. and i just got it. ang galing!!!! it was about 3:30pm when two of the PMs went down and looking for devs then minutes after we were able to move all our things upstairs. starting tomorrow my work day starts 1pm and ends 10pm.
"...Be careful what you wished for. Cause you might just get it all. You might just get it all." Ü
nweiz, let me tell you about my day. i started the day with my ipod plugged in my ears from the second i stepped out our door. what am i listening to? chillout and house. its loud. in my defense, i was really sleepy, i dnt wanna give-in. i also wanted to concentrate on my readings and review pra hinde nman ako antukin... no chance, il sing with it.. dahil hinde mo sya makakanta :D
this morning, i bumped with Ms. Reggie from Resource and asked about the upcoming project. She said: "gusto mo?" then smiled and walked away. I didn't really had a clue on what she meant. I didn't took her seriously.
came lunch. ate at World Tops. had a nyc Pan Am Chicken. i was really hunger! :D
i made a wish after lunch while we were in the elevator. and i just got it. ang galing!!!! it was about 3:30pm when two of the PMs went down and looking for devs then minutes after we were able to move all our things upstairs. starting tomorrow my work day starts 1pm and ends 10pm.
"...Be careful what you wished for. Cause you might just get it all. You might just get it all." Ü
forfeit the game
everyday, we live and learned that we play a different game with fate. sometimes we win, sometimes we loose and then sometimes we don't know the score... which makes the game fun and exciting and hard and challenging -- addictive! (music score cue: cnt fight this feeling anymore.. wahaha!) something to look forward everyday when you wake up and live your day. i know everyone loves to win and everyone wants to try. everyone wants to play the game. every chance, every moment that we can grab that window of opportunity -- we take it. we were thought to not get tired, not stop and never give up. i know that's right and im not gonna argue. but why? why do we play? (tell me, what is my problem?!!! wahahaha) Ü
i am still trying to understand and putting logic to something not understandable and logical solely to the human brain and i have to say im insane for doing this. for even trying. actually, im laughing at myself right now. haha! im slowly loosing track of the point(if there is) that im trying to make. but dont fret, im not stopping. (haha!) i have to get over this, i have to write. by the way, no! im not drunk. im perfectly sober and normal. the last time i drink was a little over 24hrs ago. just two(2) beers, light. (see?!! not drunk!)
so nweiz, why?! i ask this because i nid to ask. i nid to tell and constantly remind myself of a gud reason why should i continue playin this game of fate. why am i here again... i know im the paranoid, worrier and scared person you all know which makes this hard. plus i am the cheezy, corny, confused and complicated person in this topic which makes it even harder. and "no one" even knows what i am disturbing myself about... wink* wink* told you, can't get it over with.... hahahaha! like always, i bring chaos to my head for fun. (c'mon! what's wrong with me?!!) Ü
moving on... the real point is i "THINK" i want to forfeit the game. i dnt wnna play. i wanna forget that there is a game. i shouldn't played in the first place but i didn't stop myself for crossing the line that is not to be cross YET.(hihi) i was well aware of the penalties, i even heard the referee called it. its hard playing alone. its not healthy. "its complicated" or should i say too complicated... haha! and its not fair. il get tired and exhaust myself, il waste everything and that's not good and i dnt want that. i should'nt be thinkin about this and i should'nt be writing but here i am.. so clearly, i did it again. i just wrote about my experience of beating the red light and not taking the front seat but then again! (kulit reg!) they always told me im a hard-headed person and once again i prove them right(well, just so u know... i really tried! but there are some things i cannot stop. oo, adik!) i thought "striking while the iron was still hot" was a good idea, it wasn't. at least that's what i think. either i am totally right or wrong about all this, who cares?!! its just a matter of what?! days; hours; minutes; hope not seconds that i would be writing yet another post like this..... (pls ignore me!)
i enjoyed playin, got excited in crossing the line. too much for reality i have to wake. dnt get me wrong, im not quitting this fate game. im not a looser. im not a quitter. all im sayin is im not playin... for now... il wait when the game is really on. and i hope to win it... meanwhile, il take the bench. il enjoy the beach. wear my shades. il even get a tan!
i am still trying to understand and putting logic to something not understandable and logical solely to the human brain and i have to say im insane for doing this. for even trying. actually, im laughing at myself right now. haha! im slowly loosing track of the point(if there is) that im trying to make. but dont fret, im not stopping. (haha!) i have to get over this, i have to write. by the way, no! im not drunk. im perfectly sober and normal. the last time i drink was a little over 24hrs ago. just two(2) beers, light. (see?!! not drunk!)
so nweiz, why?! i ask this because i nid to ask. i nid to tell and constantly remind myself of a gud reason why should i continue playin this game of fate. why am i here again... i know im the paranoid, worrier and scared person you all know which makes this hard. plus i am the cheezy, corny, confused and complicated person in this topic which makes it even harder. and "no one" even knows what i am disturbing myself about... wink* wink* told you, can't get it over with.... hahahaha! like always, i bring chaos to my head for fun. (c'mon! what's wrong with me?!!) Ü
moving on... the real point is i "THINK" i want to forfeit the game. i dnt wnna play. i wanna forget that there is a game. i shouldn't played in the first place but i didn't stop myself for crossing the line that is not to be cross YET.(hihi) i was well aware of the penalties, i even heard the referee called it. its hard playing alone. its not healthy. "its complicated" or should i say too complicated... haha! and its not fair. il get tired and exhaust myself, il waste everything and that's not good and i dnt want that. i should'nt be thinkin about this and i should'nt be writing but here i am.. so clearly, i did it again. i just wrote about my experience of beating the red light and not taking the front seat but then again! (kulit reg!) they always told me im a hard-headed person and once again i prove them right(well, just so u know... i really tried! but there are some things i cannot stop. oo, adik!) i thought "striking while the iron was still hot" was a good idea, it wasn't. at least that's what i think. either i am totally right or wrong about all this, who cares?!! its just a matter of what?! days; hours; minutes; hope not seconds that i would be writing yet another post like this..... (pls ignore me!)
i enjoyed playin, got excited in crossing the line. too much for reality i have to wake. dnt get me wrong, im not quitting this fate game. im not a looser. im not a quitter. all im sayin is im not playin... for now... il wait when the game is really on. and i hope to win it... meanwhile, il take the bench. il enjoy the beach. wear my shades. il even get a tan!