what dreams may come again

i had a dream today about me and Sir
i was in an open space
then i notice, i was standing on a basketball court
wearing tshirt and jeans, no bags
then Sir entered the frame
(ok. that's it! im dreaming)
i was surprise to see him
he was in a yellow shirt and jeans with a BIG backpack
i said, maybe he's going somewhere
he was walking towards me
looking very lean and nice
and then it's that smile again
i turned around to search for other people but all i saw was empty spaces
after my 360 turn, i turn back to him and smiled back
at that my point, i didn't get what was going on
we haven't seen each other for a long time and i really don't want to see him
but we were going somewhere together
somewhere, i don't know
yet all my concern was, to ask him where are my things?
and he wasn't answering
he looks at me once in a while then goes back looking in the bag
he hold me and said, it was time to go
and my father appeared
on the cement bench with field of trees on his background
he was mouthing some words but no sound, as he was looking at us
we could not figure out what he was trying to do
it was worrying for me, but i didn't even move
i was just staring at my father
Sir was trying to make some explanations and tried to be entertaining for me
(He was being weird again)
I smiled at him
grab his arm
and we walked.

primetime bida

Ang akala ko yung mga nakikita kong kadramahan sa teleserye,
hindi mangyayari sa tunay na buhay.
Yung mga bigla na lang maiiyak mag-isa,
nung may nag-play na music.
Di mo malaman san nanggaling yung luha,
kanina ok naman sya.
Araw ba ng San Juan?
Anong meron?
Walang ibang tumatakbo sa isip niya kundi makauwi.
Ngayon mo lang narinig ang kanta.
Parang tanga lang.
Eksenang pang primetime bida.

the narrator

there are 5 of us here sitting on this steel bench
currently not enjoying leaning on this hard chair
my other 4 seatmates are busy doing something on their phones
i am listening to fun's album for the 1st time
while staring blankly at a parking lot
we are all waiting for a ride home
3 girls and 2 guys
the 2 on my left are playing games
the other 2 on my right are on facebook and contacts exploration
and then a guy came along
so, were 6.
looks like it's gonna be a long wait.

big stuff

i realize that i really don't like
big words
big gestures
big houses
big surprises
big people
big issues
big food
big news
big drama
big cars
big motorbikes
big dogs
big sacrifices
big gifts
big riches
big responsibilities
and all the like
because i don't get the point of it being big
(except on a few instances like an elephant or a big pillow)
it's not that i don't appreciate the idea
im not saying it's bad
it's just always been hard to get my head around it.

i met 4 guys

the idea came to me when i was inside the bathroom (haha)
i know. i'm sorry.
anyway, it just came to me.
if i would be able to write and finish a short story, this could be it.

starring:
The Pope, The Boogie Man, The Professional and The Weird One.

i think this will be fun. :)

deal again

i could have chosen the easy way out
but i didn't.
i did have other opportunities waiting on me
but i didn't.
i should have played safe and double safe
but i didn't.
though realizing how things could turn out if i did
doesn't really say to me, everything would be different
might be less difficult
but where's the fun in that?
so, either way
i just have to..
Deal Again.

Background Song:
I'm wanted dead or alive
And I ride, dead or alive
I still drive, dead or alive
Dead or alive

the old general rule

i genuinely want everyone dear to me to be happy
if i can be the reason or contribute to that, in any way
i will do it
favorable or none
i will rest my case
and the other rest, i leave to history.

im impress

not everyday that i find a reason for the term
but today, i don't think another word would fit.
you are still amazing!
you is smart
you is kind
you is important
(okay, that might come from a movie.)
(coz it is.)
but you are all that.
you are getting pretty good at this.
you look confident.

random post no. 2

Nagtitipid. kaya sa bldg canteen lang kumain.
Text nyo ko pag game na.

Untold Pinoy Stories. Huwaw!

So, Chasing Pavements ni Adele. (awts) Now, i understand her.
Indeed, the worse parts in your life make good stories. or an award winning song. deserving of a new loving lover and a baby.
Good Job!!

Dahil tag-ulan. Pa-uulanin pa namin. :)

si lolo

kanina nakita ko ulit si lolo
gaya ng dati,
nakapolo
khaki pants
tsinelas
tapos may hawak syang papel na pinapabasa sa tao
hindi ko pa din alam kung anong meron sa papel na yun
isang beses nasalubong ko sya sa paglalakad ko sa Shaw
papunta pa lang sya sa pwesto nya
sinundan ko sya sandali
pero nahiya akong harangin sya para magtanong
gusto ko talagang malaman bakit siya nagpupunta dun
bakit sya nagbibihis?
san sya umuuwi?
anong nakalagay sa papel
hindi ba siya nagsasalita?
may anak kaya sya? pamilya? asan na sila?
bakit nila siya iniwan?
ang payat payat na nya,
malungkot ang muka
walang pumapansin. walang gustong magbasa ng papel.
hindi ko alam kung bakit affected ako sa kanya
pero sana nga matulungan ko si lolo.

alam ko na

alam ko na

mapapagod din si Universe sa'kin
titigilan din nya ang pang-aasar.
dahil hindi na ko ma-iinis.
hindi na magiging effective sa kanya,
maghahanap sya ng ibang guguluhin.
matatapos din ang ulan.
mauubos din ang tubig at di na ako mababasa.
or babahain.

Cheers!

sumuko ka na

ito ay isa sa mga palaisipan sa isip ko.
ito ay isang entry sa aking drafts na hindi ko mapublish-publish.
ito ang aking pagsuko.

"Sumuko ka na, napapaligiran ka na namin."
gumawa din ako ng design. maganda syang shirt.
bagong taon. dapat bagong buhay.
enero 10, 2012. (after 10 days)

Bro, alam mo naman ung dasal ko.
alam mo na kung anong hindi ko kaya pagdating sa mga bagay bagay ng buhay.
napatunayan na rin natin yun.
ito lang naman ang ipinauubaya ko sa inyo.
kaya ko na yung iba. kaya yan.
mas kailangan kayo ng ibang tao.
pero dito, kailangan ko kayo.

Bro, mali kasi ako ng pagkaka-gets sayo.
akala ko kasi binigay mo si Sir sa'kin.  (ok, malabo. ulit.)
akala ko kasi ibinigay mo sya para din dun.
naniwala ako na ganun. hindi mo ba binulong sakin yun?
feeling ko tama ako. nakuha ko kayo, this time. kaya sabi ko: go! fight!
bakit ganun?
ansaya ko kasi. sobra.
nag-rereplay silang lahat sa akin.
di ako matapos-tapos.
1 taon na. (at 23 days)
mahirap pigilan.
di ko na maintindihan.
ayoko ng tumakbo.
hindi ko na kayang iconvince yung sarili ko na ok ako.
hindi ako ok.
pag hindi ko to tinigilan ngayon,
mas sasakit lang, masakit na nga.
andami ko ng nabuong pangarap.
hindi ko naman na ginagawa yun d b? (bakit ko ba kasi sinimulan ulit?)
ang problema, ako lang yun. selfish.
oo na. kasalanan ko na.
basta tulungan nyo pa rin ako.

Bro, sabihin nyo na rin kung di ba ko talaga para sa mga ganitong ending. para malinaw.
kasi lagi na lang akong mali sa kwento.
hindi nman madaling ulitin from scratch.
yung hatian ng responsibility natin, hindi nyo ginagawa.
andaya nyo.
wala nman akong ibang wish sa inyo simula nun.
kaya sige na Bro, bahala na kayo dito.
Please. Salamat po.

understanding emoness

3 years ago. Myself and 3 others went to Boracay to getaway from Manila. Today was our anniversary. I'm mostly there for moral support for my bestfriend who was self-destructing in-front of me. (i hate it when my friends do that to me. it's not fair.) A lot of new things happened on those 4 days. A number of things went down on those 3 nights. A lot of crying, that the weather also shared. I've never seen the place on such as a sad atmosphere. For the most parts i was a babysitter, a friend and a mom. But you know, maybe we all get a moment like that. We all get a right to self-destruct at one point. What's really hard for me is to see and let them do that until it's over because i know they have to do that. To be broken. So, they can be fix and be new again one day.

It’s nearly impossible to figure out the motivations of another person, so naturally much of this is just speculation. My problem, was to always need to understand them because i really don't and i care. Too much living in the moment can save a number of moments to only be left at that. Sometimes we are with no regard on how we affect people. First we will say, why should we? --- but why not? We must believe we have an effect on other people, even a small one, which is a good thing. We must be concerned too. We are a part of a flow of life. Someway, somehow.

Be a responsible cause.

TNL

Ang Tunay Na Lalake
mula kay Regina

(haha)
Una, gusto kong magpasalamat sa mga kaibigan kong lalake.
Madami sila at maswerte ako dun.
May mga single, merong may girlfriend, meron ding may asawa.
Kung kailangan mamili, mas pipiliin ko ang kaibigang lalake.
Bakit? Kasi kahit anong pareho namin magkaiba pa rin kami.
Parang instant source ng kodigo sa exam.
Kahit madalas naman magbago ang mga tanong, at least pasang-awa minsan.
Mas masaya ang kwentuhan kahit umiiyak ka na.
By default, nakakahanap ako ng kakampi.
Kaya ang Tunay Na Lalake, ay isang kaibigang maasahan.

Pangalawa, salamat sa tatay ko.
Isang larawan ng pagiging maabilidad at madiskarte sa buhay.
Siguro mahirap pumili ng isang kwento para isample
Secret na namin yun.
May pagka-comedy din sya.
Minsan matigas din talaga ang ulo nya.
Minsan nag-aaway rin kami.
May mga bagay din nman na ayaw ko sa kanya at sadyang nakakapikon.
Magka-ugali nga daw kami.
Pero lab ko yan!
Lagi nman nandyan si "Senior".
Yang mamang di bigote at malaking tiyan na yan.
Kaya ang Tunay Na Lalake, ay isang maaasahang Ama.

Pangatlo, salamat din sa mga lalakeng hinangaan, hinahangaan at hahangaan ko.
(mga individual na hindi na kailangan pangalanan)
Dahil sa contribution nyong inspirasyon.
Sa mga natutunan kong bago.
Sa drama ng tunay na buhay.
Sa mga pangarap.
Sa moments.
Sa pagiging kaibigan, tatay at special all at the same time.
Magaling mga Papi!
Wag na masyado isipin sina Papa P. at yung sikat ngayon na si Channing Tatum.
(pero crush ko pa rin sila)
You're fine.
Maswerte nga ako sa inyo
Pero shempre mas maswerte kayo sa'kin. ;)
Kaya ang Tunay Na Lalake, may bilib sa sarili at isang maasahan na inspirasyon sa buhay
and hopefully, isang araw habang-buhay.

Para sa Manila

Maganda pa rin naman ang Manila ngayon
Mas maganda nga lang siya dati
Masaya kung mairerestore nila lahat ng lumang building
Mga lumang tanggapan, tanghalan, sinehan, paaralan, ahensya, simbahan, atbp
Maayos pag may ilaw ang lahat ng kalye
Makakapaglakad ako ng maayos pag gabi
Makakapag-bisikleta
Mag d-drive
Marami rin pala akong alam na daan sa Manila
Malaki, maliit, masikip, malapad
Madaming tao, onting tao
Matrapik, hindi trapik
Madilim, maliwanag, malinis, marumi
Makulay ang daan pauwing Manila
Maaaliw ka kakatingin
Madaming papasok sa isip mo
May matutunan ka sa sandaling pagdaan mo
Mapapangiti ka ng Manila

a very famous question

Why do people break up?

To me, "the break up" is something like a milestone on a project.
I'm not saying couples are bound to get to that, i'm saying it's there.
We all hope not to get there.
Projects run short or long depending on its specifics.
They can be extended.
New team mates go on board.
A need for lots of extra work.
Sometimes, projects are even on hold.
One way or another, a project will go on or end.
A lot will happen in between
So, when you still get to the point that you reach that milestone,
you know the project is finished.

Let's not depend on time in deciding over a project's coarse.
The man hours rendered does not necessarily equate to a reason to continue.
There are times that you become unfit for the job and you know it.
Everyone will hate the villian.
Still, don't settle.
Never too late.
No one wants unfinish projects.
Not every project needs to be redesign again.
There is a choice.
Decisions will be made.
Whatever they maybe,
it should be for the project's future.


Cruise - Holmes
Pitt - Aniston
Smith - Pinkett
Wang - Becker
Philippe - Witherspoon

Martinez - Aguila
Gibs - Loyzaga
Alcasid - Eimeren
Davao - Blanco

(Anyway, i hope my friend knows what she's doing before the window closes.)

expectation vs. hope

When does hope become an expectation?
Or is it the other way around?
Can you pick one and promise that it won't lead to the other?
Would you rather expect first then hope later
or hope now and expect soon?

If i may answer and i'm not preaching.
I've always chose to hope, first.
It does look a lot like expectation to some but that's their expectation too.
Don't worry. It's not for all.
We should know when and where to expect.

Maybe some people don't hope for things nor expect anything.

"I don't get why people are able to just sit and take things as they are.
But then again, i know they are also wondering why can't i just sit and take things as they are."

All is fair.

when he smiles

look at that face
that grin
can't really tell what
it maybe a smirk for all i know
or an involuntary muscle
a defect maybe
whichever would be similar to the word
like he's trying to be smooth
keeping it cool
being amazing
and just waiting there for you to see it.
of coarse, yes!
i like it when he smiles.

moments

Ayon sa status ng kaibigan ko:
"When you can enjoy a moment you should enjoy it well."

Tama yan.
Pero.. (shempre may pero)
Onting paalala kaibigan.
Minsan kasi yang "can enjoy" part at "enjoy it well" part debatable, dadating yung time na di mo na alam kung enjoyin mo ba talaga o hinde.
Baka naman ikaw lang nag-eenjoy.
Hindi dapat selfish ang bagay na yan.
Pero mananalo pa rin ang go for the gold idea. Masaya e.
Then ang dating moment ay momentS na ngayon.
Tapos malalaman mo na, may di ka pa pala gets tungkol sa moment na yan.

"When you can't enjoy a moment, you should not enjoy it."


Ingat tayo sa moments. Pwedeng hindi select all. :)

sabi ko nga

Sabi ko nga, sometimes we fear to start things.
Don't worry that's ok.
The world can take it.
It's not that we fear beginnings,
It's just that some things, we don't have to start alone.
Some things, should be done -- together.


"No man is an island, because man is human. He is not an island." -- Jojo

"Some roads are not meant to be traveled alone." -- Proverb quotes

"2 is better than 1." -- Boys Like Girls

titanic

bakit nga ba minsan may mga bagay na alam na natin pero nagppretend tayo as if hindi natin alam?
dahil ba baka this time, maiba naman?
baka this time, iba yung mangyari?
baka sa delayed telecast, panalo si Pacquiao.
well, siguro yun nga.
kahit kabaliwan yun, gaya ng sabi ni Einstein, gusto pa rin natin minsan yung paulit-ulit.
Malay mo mag-work.
Pero kids, tandaan natin na hindi yan para sa lahat ng bagay.
Masaya naman manuod ng replay basta manunuod lang.



"Parang Titanic, alam mo na yung ending pero papanuorin mo pa rin." -- RARivera

laptop o iphone

Di masyadong busy kanina,
May oras ako para sa mahaba-habang kwentuhan.
Isang session muli ng Guy Talk (usapang tungkol sa Guy mula sa Guy)
May 3 katanungan akong tinanong, sinagot naman niya.

- Mahirap daw talaga mamili lalo na kapag ang pagpipilian ay gaya ng laptop o iphone. Parehas mo kailangan. Parehas mo gusto. Pero sa huli, dapat ka pa ring pumili.
(Eh kung, may laptop na siya)

- Nasa kanya na ngayon kung gusto niya pa rin ng iphone. May mga promos, discounts at kung anu-anong freebies na ang lumabas, magkakaron siya nun kung gusto niya.
(Agree.)

- Bawal na syang pabalik-balik sa tindahan para sa iphone kung alam naman nyang hindi sya bibili. Paulit-ulit yung sales lady.
(Tama.)


Ang galing ng naisip nyang metaphor.
Usapang lasing na yung sumunod.
Uwian na.

same same but different

funny when you see something and think it's history repeating
persons, situations, things.
maybe universe is trying to tell you a message
or not
if someone up there can just come down here, talk and explain
no connection should be linked
but you know you can't help but think
there's a lot of other people that could do the same thing
so universe, why not pick them and have them do it?
why do you let the same things repeat infront of me?
is this my fault?
why?!?!


Moral Lesson: Ok. Don't go back there, regina.

moral lesson

Ang palagi kong sinasabi ay:

Life is never complicated enough.

Ngayon, naisip ko na kulang sya

Life is never complicated enough,
pero simple lang dapat ang life.

Yun lang po. Tapos na po.

truth or consequence

people expect many many things in life
and learn from it
like failures and success
it may influence,
or inspire them
or it may not matter
it's normal
people are in constant search for something
looking for something new
as if they're bored always
people asks for the truth
but don't know what to do with it
people always want change
when things go wrong
yet sometimes people don't know how to handle what they wish for.

maybe a little consideration,
don't make it too hard always, universe.


(anyway i did say, i have lots of drafts)