2013: i confess

ok fine. i admit it. i am lonely. i think i do a good job to not be. to push it away, set it aside... focus on work, other work, more work or movies, netflix, sometimes i travel.

but.. you know i’m only human. i can’t be all that strong. someday this feeling just gets the better of me and i cry and i cry some more. maybe because it seems that i can offload them and i’d feel better. 

i’m sorry if this is just sad. (offloading again) 

i’m sorry that up to this day i haven’t really been ok being alone. i know i’ve been doing it for a while and i don’t know why i’m failing right now. 

maybe i’m tired. maybe i’m angry. maybe i’m jealous. maybe i’m frustrated. or maybe i just don’t get why and i need to know why. so.. i can do something about it. 

because i feel i don’t deserve this feeling. and if im wrong and i do deserve it, i wanna know.  so i can move on to whatever is next. i don’t want to prolong this.